I have been waiting so long to write a post like this that I do not know where to begin.
Yesterday, right before lunch hour, I was offered my first real job. I wanted to sound really cool and collected but I was at work, hiding in the echo-inducing hallway, hunched over my cell phone. And I gasped out, "Yes! I would love to!"
Since then, it has been bittersweet. I am more than excited of course and I cannot wait to start this new job. It is literally a new chapter in my life. I dreamed about having this in my life FOR YEARS. It has been that important to me. I have felt this need to do something more for so long and now I finally have it.
But at the same time, I feel a little down too.
A new job does not change all that is wrong in my life, even though I wish it did!
Some of my current work colleagues were angry when they heard the news. That is not something I anticipated at all. I guess I didn't really consider their part in it. I didn't think about how they would feel with the loss of me, the hole that would be left in their schedule and the workload that would increase. To them, I am so very sorry.
I put my good news on Facebook straight away, I wanted everyone to know. A lot of people did write and it made me feel good about myself. But the people I wanted to care (hello Dad?) have not said a word to me. I guess I want everyone to be as excited as me, to see how incredibly important this whole thing is - but it is just a validation that I need to get over!
And then there is Violet. My sweet, beautiful Violet. My job will be full time so she will go to daycare/preschool. I will miss the hell out of her! I can't even begin to imagine how difficult the transition will be for us - for me more than her I think.
I will definitely write more when I have had more time to let it all sink in. I am not sure why, but I have to keep reminding myself that this is a good thing, a GREAT big thing. And that I am on this new road to somewhere better. I have no idea how a geeky, awkward library clerk got the chance to have a swankier job with a title and an office! But I am SO HAPPY it did.
Yesterday, right before lunch hour, I was offered my first real job. I wanted to sound really cool and collected but I was at work, hiding in the echo-inducing hallway, hunched over my cell phone. And I gasped out, "Yes! I would love to!"
Since then, it has been bittersweet. I am more than excited of course and I cannot wait to start this new job. It is literally a new chapter in my life. I dreamed about having this in my life FOR YEARS. It has been that important to me. I have felt this need to do something more for so long and now I finally have it.
But at the same time, I feel a little down too.
A new job does not change all that is wrong in my life, even though I wish it did!
Some of my current work colleagues were angry when they heard the news. That is not something I anticipated at all. I guess I didn't really consider their part in it. I didn't think about how they would feel with the loss of me, the hole that would be left in their schedule and the workload that would increase. To them, I am so very sorry.
I put my good news on Facebook straight away, I wanted everyone to know. A lot of people did write and it made me feel good about myself. But the people I wanted to care (hello Dad?) have not said a word to me. I guess I want everyone to be as excited as me, to see how incredibly important this whole thing is - but it is just a validation that I need to get over!
And then there is Violet. My sweet, beautiful Violet. My job will be full time so she will go to daycare/preschool. I will miss the hell out of her! I can't even begin to imagine how difficult the transition will be for us - for me more than her I think.
I will definitely write more when I have had more time to let it all sink in. I am not sure why, but I have to keep reminding myself that this is a good thing, a GREAT big thing. And that I am on this new road to somewhere better. I have no idea how a geeky, awkward library clerk got the chance to have a swankier job with a title and an office! But I am SO HAPPY it did.
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