I Heart Costco...

(and yes, that is our Christmas tree in the background. Don't judge. We've taken everything else down, but can't find it in us to take down the tree. We will. I promise;)

***

On a side note:

I've been doing good on this weight loss path. Walking at a slow and steady paste. I've been eating healthy. I've had slip ups, but nothing to cry over, or get me discouraged. I just move on, and do better next time. And next time is always better. I'm enjoying this walk, for the first time ever.
It's the perfect temperature outside, the birds are singing, the scenery is beautiful, and I'm not obsessing over every little step. Sure, sometimes I trip over a rock, or step in a puddle, get pooped on by a bird, or smell somebodies hot dog as they walk by. I have my emotional moments, that make me want to run up to that person, tackle them to the ground, and take off with their hot dog...and there are the times that I do (keep an eye out for the crazy hot dog snatcher lady on the loose, in the news;) but, I get over it. I don't let it stop me from continuing on my journey. I regather myself, and I keep on walking.

I haven't weighed myself yet. Crazy right? Every time I go on a diet, I'm addicted to the scale, weighing myself a minimum of twice a day. But like I said, I'm doing good on this little walk of mine, and I'm not quite ready to look at numbers. I'm building myself up first.
I'm thinking next Monday?

I'm LOVING my two new books, by Bethenny Frankle! They've been very helpful! When I'm finished, I'll give a complete review.

I hope you are all doing well on your own weight loss paths. And if you've had a little fall, detour, or that stupid guy with a hot dog keeps circling you, tell him to beat it, and don't let it get you down. Just keep on strolling... It'll pay off. I promise :D

New Books, and a New Motivation!

These past few days, I've been feeling a little discouraged, because I can't workout much, due to my RA. What I'd give to be able to go running, even just for 10 minutes. Or workout long enough to be drenched in sweet, and really feel my heart pumping. I try to workout, but the pain is just too much to work through, and I can't stand the feeling of it. A lot of my joints are almost completely bone on bone, and in some areas, they are bone on bone. The joints that are the most damaged are: Both my knees, my right shoulder, and both my wrist. When I try to work out, I can feel my joints cracking and grinding in the areas that it's bone on bone. Not only is this very painful, but it's a lot like nails going down a chalk board. It grosses me out, and it's hard to work through. It just feels wrong!

How in the world am I going to lose 75lbs, when I can barley workout? I know losing weight seems like a huge mountain to climb for anyone, but for me, I sometimes feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain without any tools or gear. Sometimes I feel like it's hopeless, impossible, not fair, and just too dang difficult. Sometimes it makes me just want to give up.

Then, my darling husband, who I'm convinced Heavenly Father sent to this earth just for me, came home from work last night. He walked in the door, and said, "Close your eyes!" I was thinking, "Please tell my your not about to hand me my favorite temptation, because I've been crying all day, and I'm just not strong enough right now to turn any kind of chocolate away. I will most likely swallow it whole, like nobodies business!" I opened my eyes, bracing myself, and I saw this:My husband did not come home with a delicious, chocolaty temptation for me to sink my teeth into, when I'm trying to lose weight (He's been known to do this). Instead, he came home with the Bethenny Frankle (I seriously love her), "Naturally Thin" book that I've been wanting, AND her, "The Skinny Girl DISH" book, to help me on this journey. He came home with a tool, and piece of gear, to help me climb this mountain.
I heart him...

As I looked down at the books, I thought to myself, "This is what I CAN do."

I can't change the fact that I have RA. It's the cards I've been dealt. I can't change the fact that I can't go jogging, or even go walking for a long period of time. But I know whining about it isn't going to make me any thinner, and getting discouraged is only going to send me on a completely different path, going the WRONG direction! I don't have control over the things my body simply can't do, but I do have control over what I put into my body. I have to do what I CAN do, and stop focusing on what I CAN'T do!
I can eat healthy. I can be positive. I can be grateful. I can educate myself, by reading books on how to live a healthy life.
"This is what I CAN do."
And this is what I'm going to do.

I'm ready to conquer another weekend!
This weekend, I'm going to have my head in my new book, and not in the fridge saying, "Hmmm. I wonder what I can eat in here?" I'm going to try some new recipes this weekend, and I'm going to do lots of research on things I CAN do with my RA.

Happy weekend everyone!

Happy Award!

My Blog friend, Tammy, passed the Happy Award onto me! Thank you so much Tammy!

This is my very first blog award, so it's pretty exciting and special to me! I don't know if everyone gets this happy over a blog award, but I'm truly honored!

One of the rules is to list 10 things that make me happy.

Here I go! :
1. My Husband, who makes me oh so happy!
2. My family
3. My friends
4. Chocolate. Mmmmm!
5. Knowing that I'm a daughter of God, and that he, and Jesus Christ love me.
5. Reading your beautiful comments
6. Checking things off a list. Whether it's a chore, or a goal, it gives me sweet satisfaction!
7. Being charitable, and helping others (is that 2?)
8. Going on vacations with my hubby, and experiencing new things with him. (That's 2 again huh? I'm bad at this;)
9. My doggies
10. The color pink. When I see it, I get a burst of joy!

The other rule, is that I'm to pass the award onto 10 others. That part is kind of hard for me. 1-I love all of you. If you're on my blog list, it means that I heart you. It means that I love reading your blog, you inspire me, you move me, you motivate me, and reading your blog puts a smile on my chubby little face ;) 2-everyone that I would give the award to, has already received it multiple times, as you're loved by many ;)
All of your blogs make me happy! Seriously, that's why I blog stock you ;) And therefore, I'm not going to pass it on. I cringe a little when I say that. Am I breaking the rules? I'm not meaning to. Is someone going to call me on the telephone asking me how dare I do such a thing? I hope not, and I hope I'm not offending anyone.

Let me also take a second, to express my gratitude to all of you, as it's something I've been wanting to do.

I'm truly grateful to all of you who take the time to stop by my little bloggy blog, and read my words. I'm always so uplifted and touched by your comments, and I thank you. It's because of you, that I'm not just talking to myself ;) Your blogs and your comments truly help me stay on this weight loss path, and the journey toward becoming a healthier, better me. When I step on the scale, look down, and see 120 there before me, I will have all of you in my mind. I feel like we're all in this race together, and YOU are a part of the reason I will make it to the finish line.
I was completely unaware of the beautiful community that is weight loss blogs, until just a little while ago. I had no idea of the support, love, motivation, and inspiration that was out there in the blog world, coming from beautiful women like you. It's amazing to me, and I'm truly grateful for it! I thank you for allowing me to be apart of it!

Thank you againTammy for the award! It made me very very happy!
And thank you again to all of you have inspired me, and who have given me support!
I heart you...

Self-Reliance

Yesterday, I was preparing a lesson for my visiting teaching (Visiting teaching is something our church does- You're assigned 3 women who you go to church with, and each month you visit them to see how they're doing, and to give a little lesson). This months lesson was on self-reliance.

During my lesson, I read these two quotes:

“As we live providently and increase our gifts and talents, we become more self-reliant. Self-reliance is taking responsibility for our own spiritual and temporal welfare and for those whom Heavenly Father has entrusted to our care. Only when we are self-reliant can we truly emulate the Savior in serving and blessing others.

“It is important to understand that self-reliance is a means to an end. Our ultimate goal is to become like the Savior, and that goal is enhanced by our unselfish service to others. Our ability to serve is increased or diminished by the level of our self-reliance.” -Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve.

It got me thinking. Over the past couple months, I've been thinking a lot about who I am as a person, working on myself and becoming the woman I want to be. (you can read more about that here)

Reading over the lesson, reminded me how important it is to make sure that I'm growing both personally and spiritually. I know for me, I focus so much on taking care of my husband, supporting him, and on being there for family and friends, that I tend to put myself last on the list. No one can work on me, but me. No one can make sure that I'm growing personally and spiritually, but me. It's MY responsibility.

This part really stuck out to me, "Our ability to serve is increased or diminished by the level of our self-reliance.”

Sometimes I forget to work on ME, because I'm more focused on being there for others. Yet, the MORE I work on me, the BETTER I'll be able to serve others. Not only do I gain from taking time out to improve myself, but so do the ones I love. In a way, making sure I take care of myself, IS serving them!

It made me really happy to finally be working on me. Losing weight is more then wanting to be a smaller size. It's me saying, "I love myself enough to take time out to improve myself. I want to be the happiest, healthiest person I can be for the ones I love, but more importantly, for ME!!" After all, it is MY responsibility.

I'm happy to (finally) be on this journey. I'm losing weight, but I'm gaining so much more!

I hope you remember to take the time to focus on your own personal growth, and to take time out for YOU! Your loved ones will thank you! ;)

XOXO

A Successful Weekend, and a Yummy Recipe!

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

I'm happy to report that I had a great, successful, and :Deliciously Healthy weekend!
I made healthy choices, and didn't pig out ALL weekend like I normally do!

My husband and I came up with things to do, so that we weren't thinking about vegging out the entire weekend with pizza and a movie...and brownies, and candy, and ice creme...I'm getting side tracked. Point is, we did good! ;)

We actually got a lot done! Which is kinda funny to me. It's amazing the things you can get done, when your not thinking about eating all the time!

I also went shopping. Shopping's good when you're on a diet. At least for me anyway. I get to get my mind off of food, buy things I love just as much as I love food (or at least almost as much), I drool over things I would buy if I had lots and lots of money to spend, and I get to day dream about the day I will love clothes shopping as much as I used to. I look at items and say to myself, "Stick to your diet Brittany, and you may actually be able to pull that off someday!" I also went baby shopping, even though I'm not pregnant ;) Joe and I decided since we know we are going to start trying for a family in a few months, it would be smart to slowly start buying things now. The benefit to that is, I get to wait for things to go on sale, and clearance! Did you know that most Targets re-do, and clean out their baby section every January? I got LOTS of stuff for 50% off! Shopping for baby things was also a HUGE motivation for me to keep making healthy choices! My goal is to lose at least 40lbs before we start trying. Buying baby things was a nice reminder that I don't have time to fool around.

This weekend, I made one of my favorite recipes! It's called "Chili Verde", but I just call it chicken chili :) It's really more like a chicken chili soup. It's great for cold, winter days, because it warms you from the inside out! It's also very simple, and quick to make, which is a lifesaver for me, with my RA. It's a GREAT recipe if you have leftover cooked chicken breast, as it makes this recipe even easier to make!! I usually add a dollop of low-fat sour cream, and a tablespoon of salsa on the top, but I forgot to pick those items up at the store, so I just went without it. My husband also likes to enjoy it with a small handful of low sodium tortilla chips (He's also trying to lose weight).You Will Need:

~2 cups chopped and cooked chicken breast (2 boneless skinless chicken breast)
~1 can (15 to 16 ounces) of cannellini or great northern beans. Rinsed and drained.
~1 can (14 1/2 ounces) of low sodium chicken broth
~1 cup green salsa (salsa verde)
~1 (9 ounce) package of frozen white corn, thawed

Directions:

Mix all ingredients in a 3-quart saucepan. Heat to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes. And that's it! You're done! Told you it was easy! ;)

Makes 4 servings.

Here's What I'm Thinking:

Calories: 290 for 1 serving.

Enjoy!

***

I'm excited for this upcoming week. This past week was my first week on my diet. I decided this time around, I would start by taking baby steps, instead of stopping EVERYTHING cold turkey! That's what I've been doing over the past week, and I have to say, it's made a big difference! I wasn't having to go through my caffeine withdrawals, and my chocolate withdrawals at the same time!

Every day, I would focus on eating healthier, along with focusing on 1 thing I could change/cut out. I would focus on cutting out my soda for a couple days, along with eating healthy recipes. Then, over the next couple days, I would focus on cutting out my sweets, along with the soda, and continuing to eat healthier. And so on, and so forth. So, this past week was kind of the beginning stages of my diet, focusing on 1 thing at a time. The begging stage is done, and I've successfully weaned myself off of my old habits! This next week, it's all on baby!
I'm excited!

My Motivation

It's the weekend!
I love the weekends, I seriously do, but when I'm trying to eat healthy, weekends sometimes make me nervous.

Joe and I usually ALWAYS go out, and eat lots of unhealthy goodness on the weekends. It's a habit. It's what we've been doing since we've been married. When you take that away from us, we find ourselves tapping our nails on the table saying, "Well what the heck do we do now?" Food is our entertainment. When we can't pig out, we're bored. It's pretty funny now that I'm thinking about it.

That's the moment I say, "What the heck! Lets go have some fun!"
Then, we come home with leftovers, so the naughtiness continues on into the next day. Before you know it, next weekend rolls around, and we are still trying to recover from last weekend.

So, like I said, weekends make me nervous.

To avoid this from happening, I'm trying to find things in advance that we can do to have fun together, so eating out isn't our only option. I've also decided to give myself some visual motivation, to help me get through it.

#1. I'm going to put a picture of myself weighing my goal weight of 120lbs, where I can see it. Being healthy, will bring me so much more happiness then food ever can. Being at a healthy weight again, will bring me joy, every minute of every day. Versus that cheesecake, which is only going to bring me about 3min of happiness (because you know I would scarf it down that fast;), and then it's followed by feelings of regret and disappointment for hours after.
When I look at it that way, the choice is simple.
Choose to be healthy.
Choose to be happy.
DON'T choose the cheesecake!

#2. My blog friend, Dawne did a post about being able to fit into a shirt for the first time, that she had bought 7 years prior. I thought of how she must have felt after reaching that milestone in her weight loss. I thought of how much her hard work had paid off, and how fitting into that shirt must have brought her more excitement and joy then food ever could have.

Then I thought about the clothes I have, that I either want to fit back into, or have never been able to wear. I thought of how happy that would make me to one day see how much my hard work had paid off, by being able to fit into those clothes.

I have a pair of pants that literally fit me for 1 day, back when I was 18yrs old. For that 1 day, I was happy with my weight. Looking at these pants makes me think of how I felt on that ONE day, when I was completely happy with myself. I'd like to go back to that feeling. Only this time it will last a LOT longer then one day!I also have a dress, I bought about 3 years ago, knowing it didn't fit. I thought I would lose weight soon enough to wear it. Huh! Little did I know I would only move farther and farther away from being able to fit in it! I used to look at this dress with a heavy heart. I would get upset at myself for gaining even more weight after buying it, instead of losing weight like I was supposed to. Then I would start to think about the time lost, and would day dream about what my life would have been like, if I had in fact gone on a diet when I 1st bought the dress.
Although now, my perspective has changed. Now I get excited when I look at the dress! I picture in my mind that beautiful day when I will finally get to wear it! I will twirl, I will dance, I will cry, and I will probably sing (even though I'm a horrible singer!)! Looking at this dress now, motivates me to continue on down this path.
Because the day I fit into this dress, it will all be worth it!I'm going to hang these clothes on my bedroom door, so I can think of how happy it's going to make me when I can finally wear them, and how I'm not going to let food take that away from me.

Sticking to my diet = A happy, healthy life.
Going off my diet to pig out = A life being over weight, unhappy, and unhealthy.
Makes sense doesn't it?

I'm armed and ready to take on the weekend!
BRING IT ON!

****

Happy weekend everyone!
I hope it's lots of fun, and very :Deliciously Healthy!

My Favorite Chicken Salad

Once, when I was 16, I went on an all salad diet. Yeah. Pretty crazy.
I left that experience, heavier then when I started (Although I was still only 125lbs! What the heck was my deal?), and with a new found hatred for salads!
It wasn't until I was about 19yrs old, that I could even consider eating a salad!

That was the time when I discovered this salad. It's in the "Rosdale Diet" book, although I've made the recipe my own. His actually has more calories then my version!

This is a seriously yummy salad! I usually reach for this salad when I need a little help to keep me from running to the nearest Krispy Creme! It's yummy, mouthwatering, and a very satisfying salad! It solves my craving for the "No No" food, when I'm having my weak moments. It's also very filling. I sometimes (key word sometimes) can't even finish it! When I eat this salad I think to myself, "I can totally do this!"

You Will Need:

~About 2 handfuls of mixed greens (really, you can add whatever you like. They're greens!)
~1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil (I usually add a little shy of a tablespoon)
~1-2 squeezes of a lemon
~About a 1/4 teaspoon dijon mustard
~Half a garlic clove chopped. (I sometimes skip the garlic when I don't feel like messing with it)
~A pinch of sugar or splenda
~3-4 black olives sliced
~1 tablespoon sliced almonds
~1 boneless skinless chicken breast (I usually only use half, and save the other half to use in a salad the next day. Or give it to my husband for his salad;)

Directions:

Dressing:
Mix the EVOO, dijon mustard, lemon juice, garlic, and sugar together. (I usually mix it in a 1/4 cup measuring cup, because it's a small amount and tends to get lost in a big bowl :)

1. Bring 2 inches of water to a boil in a deep skillet. Reduce to simmer, and add the thawed chicken breast.
2. Simmer for 10-15 min. Check to see if chicken is completely cooked by cutting into the middle of the breast. Meat should be white, and juices should run clear.
3. In a bowl, combine: mixed greens, olives, and almonds.
4. Pour half the dressing into the bowl, and toss well.
5. Slice chicken diagonally into 1/2 inch slices, and arrange on top of salad.
6. Drizzle remaining dressing on top
7. DIG IN!!

Here's What I'm Thinking:

Calories:
Around 350 to 400, depending on if you use half a chicken breast or not.
Yes, it's a bit of a splurge, but it's satisfying, tasty, healthy, and has the good kind of fat in it.

Am I Supposed to Fit in These or Something??

Seriously??

These things are tiny! And this is my size!
First of all, it's a serious workout just to get these suckers on!
Then, once you think you've won the battle, and can move on with your life, they roll down, or they create a serious muffin top that's totally unflattering, and just straight up wrong!

I think a skinny chick somewhere is playing a joke on me.

Does everyone have this problem? Or am I just nylon illiterate? ;0)

Time Lost

(flickr)

This morning, I was going through an old diet book called, "The Rosedale Diet" It's a book that teaches you how to eat food that will naturally turn your hunger switch off, and will help your body function the way it's supposed to.

About 3 years ago, I tried to go on his diet. It's kind of strict, and at the time, I just didn't have the willpower to stick to a diet. I did learn some things by reading his book, that I try to incorporate into my diet, to help myself transform into a healthier person, but I never did stick to his diet completely.

I was flipping through the book, trying to find the exact recipe (I always just follow it in my head) to a very yummy chicken salad of his, to post later.

I came across a Journal type of page, where it asked, "Starting weight:" To which I had put, "170"

Tears instantly followed.

Why didn't I stop there?
Why couldn't I have been stronger, and kept my (Much thinner) butt on a diet?!

I was angry, sad, disappointed, and most of all, I felt like it was all hopeless.
I think feeling like it's hopeless when you're trying to lose weight, is the most damaging of all emotions.

So, I opened up the fridge to see what I could find.
As if to say to the world, "See? I don't care anymore. I give up!"
But then the thought came to my mind,
"This is what you did 3 years ago. This is why you didn't stop at 170."
Then a horrifying image came to my mind, of me 3 years from now asking myself, "Why didn't I stop at 195?"
(there. I said it. I weigh 195. But if you ask me face to face, I'll deny it:)
I refuse to ever wish I was only 195.

So, I shut the fridge. I won't let the time lost get me down.
Because it is "Better late then never."

3yrs ago I was 19, and I had yet to discover I had low thyroid, and PCOS. I think I'm more mature now, and maybe even wiser.
I can do this.

On a side note, I think I'm going to re-read his book. There are some yummy recipes, and lots of knowledge I think I will appreciate more, now that I'm a little wiser :0)

I'm Back!

I'm just going to ignore the fact that my last post says "February 12- 2009" Jeeze! Yes, I've been weak, and haven't exactly stuck to my diet. To help me not drown my sorrows in a carton of ice cream over the time lost, I'm just going to say, "Better late than never." and, "If you fall off your horse, just dust yourself off, and get back on again" And that's exactly what I'm going to do!

It's time to focus on the positive, the future, and this beautiful new year.

This IS the year I lose weight!
You mark my words.

For the record, I didn't go off my diet because I didn't like the food I was making. I work really hard to make tasty food when I'm on a "diet". I even continued to make some of my favorite deliciously healthy dishes, not because I was trying to lose weight, but just because I was craving them! I'd say 95% of the time I go off my diet, it's because I'm not feeling good, and therefore can't/don't want to cook. Then I have a hungry husband calling me on his way home from work asking, "What's for dinner?" Does anyone else hate that question? That's the moment I surrender to defeat and say, "Just pick something up on the way home..." The secondary problem is, once I go off a diet, I sometimes find it hard to get back on it. I fall out of the routine, and I enter the cycle of repeating to myself day after day, "I'll get back on it tomorrow..." Before you know it, I've been saying that same phrase to myself every day, for 6 months.

This time around, I'm going to work harder on developing tricks I can use to help myself. Like making meals in advance, so if I'm not feeling good I don't have to worry about cooking. This time I'm trying to be more aware of my health issues and work around them, so they won't bring me down.

I am happy to report that since "February 12- 2009" I haven't been a complete failure, and have lost 16 pounds! Never mind the fact that I gained 4lbs back ;) I've been on the diet for a week here, and a week there. Never long enough to report about it. I did come across some tasty recipes over the past year, but didn't share them because by the time I thought to, I had shamefully ate a #1 from McDonald's for dinner, and felt like a hypocrite.
BUT, I'm back on my "diet" and ready to start blogging about it again!

What's the new motivation?
Why am I so sure this will be the time I lose weight?

Over this past year that I've been absent, a lot has happened in my life.
I found out I need double knee replacements, due to my severe RA. Blurg! Before, it was that I needed them in the near future, now it's that I need them like, NOW! I simply have to wait as long as I possibly can for that major surgery. There are 2 factors in that decision: #1- My age. I'm only 22. This procedure isn't typically performed on someone as young as myself. #2- They don't last forever. If I want to be 50yrs old, and still able to walk, I need to hold off as long as I can. Losing weight will no doubt help me to win this battle.
Also, my husband and I are wanting to start a little family. YAY!! Although, I have PCOS, which is going to make getting pregnant difficult. My weight is only making matters worse. With my PCOS, I have an 80% chance of getting pregnant, and my weight isn't helping those odds. My doctor told me if I want to avoid invasive (which=expensive) procedures, and if I want to increase my chances of even being able to get pregnant, I have to lose weight.
It sounded like a challenge to me.
A fire got lit under my little (Although it's quite big) tush, and a new determination was born!
I can do this.
I will do this.
I have a lot riding on it this time around.

I invite you to take this little journey with me.
I don't know where it will take me or how long it will take, but I assure you I will be ":Deliciously Healthy", and it will be totally awesome.