17 day diet- cycle 1, day 2: Today, I am motivated!

Today is so much better then yesterday. Both in my stress level, and on my diet. Every time I look at my diet calendar, I get all giddy. I keep thinking, "I wonder how much weight I will have lost by the end of the 1st cycle?! I can't wait to find out!". There's only one way to "find out": STAY ON TRACK!! My calendar has definitely helped me. Having all my meals planned out for the week has taken the guess work out of this somewhat complicated diet. And I LOVE seeing myself inch closer and closer to the end of the first 17 days.
I have a slight headache. Probably from the lack of soda. Aside from that, I feel pretty darn good. I have energy, and I haven't felt starved. Both, very good things :)

I didn't realize how much being off my diet dragged me down. Both physically, and emotionally... but mostly emotionally. Every single day I would feel depressed about how far off track I had gotten. It consumed my thoughts. I would even wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it. It was like I had a rain cloud over my head constantly.
Even though I'm not down to the weight I was (or even close), and I'm still living with the consequences of eating all those hamburgers (pants not fitting), that dark cloud has completely vanished. I know that I'm doing something about it, and I will eventually get back to where I was. I'm taking action. And it's just what the doctor ordered.

I'm off to go make dinner: sloppy joe's (minus the bread) with lots of veggies :)

17 day diet- Cycle 1, day 1: Weigh-in day

Day 1- Starting weight: 190.4Oy.

Today was a stressful day. All day I wanted to turn to food, so I could have a little happy moment between me, and some cheesy pasta. Every time I struggled today, this one phrase kept coming to my mind, "Eat what you've always eaten, and you'll weigh what you've always weighed" That kept me on track. If I want my body to shrink to a size 6, I have to change what I've been doing for the past couple months. And it's not going to be easy. But I know I can do it.

I just had one little hiccup. My husband, in an attempt to cheer me up, got me something I didn't even know existed: They're called double oreo's. It's a regular oreo, stuck to a chocolate stuffed oreo... two oreo's in one! I stood there for like an hour, trying to figure out what I was going to do. Eat the whole box, or walk away? But once again, this played in my mind, "Eat what you've always eaten, and you'll weigh what you've always weighed" So what did I decide? I had 1 oreo cookie, and then walked away. No, oreo's do not go along with the 17 day diet, but hey- I only had one, when I wanted to inhale them all in 10 seconds flat. So I consider that a success.

I'm going to bed, with a stressful, yet successful day behind me.
That feels good.

Making a list, and checking it twice

I was supposed to start the 17 day diet on the 23rd of November. Which I did. I was good all day, until it got time to cook dinner. As I was cooking the ground turkey for the sloppy joe's I was making, I noticed all this black stuff in the meat. Yup. Like, all the Teflon came off our 6 year old, $20 set of pans we bought right after we got married. Why we used those pans for so long is beyond me. Why we still use the useless knife set we bought with the pans, 6 years ago, is also beyond me. So, we headed to Costco, and bought ourselves a grown up set of stainless steel pans. By the time we got out of the store, I was starving, and I had a headache. So, we stopped and got something to eat. The next day was Thanksgiving, and it just didn't seem rational to start a diet ON Thanksgiving. So, I pushed it off another day. But then we had left overs... and yada yada yada... here we are.

But tomorrow, is in fact, the day. I pinky swore myself. That sounded more pathetic then I thought it would...

Today, I've been getting ready for tomorrow.

The 17 day diet is 3 cycles, of 17 days (it's really four, but the fourth cycle is basically teaching you how to make it a lifestyle change. AKA- being :Decliciously Healthy. So I will just resume my DH way of eating and losing weight after the 3rd cycle) The first cycle is the strictest. Because you're limited in the food you're allowed to eat, you really need to be creative in the meals you prepare. You definitely need to have a game plan with this diet. If you try to wing it, you'll fail. I've learned this the hard way. With that in mind, I made a list of everything I can eat, and put it in my wallet, so I have it with me at all times:

Veggies:

• Artichokes
• Asparagus
• Broccoli
• Cabbage
• Carrots
• Cauliflower
• Celery
• Cucumbers
• Green beans
• Greens
• Kale
• Mushrooms
• Okra
• Spinach
• Tomatoes
• Watercress

Fruit:

• Apples
• Berries
• Grapefruit
• Oranges
• Peaches
• Prunes
• Red grapes

Dairy

• Low fat cottage cheese
• Parmesan cheese
  
• Yogurt
• Feta cheese

Meat/protein

• Chicken breasts
• Turkey breasts or ground turkey
• Canned tuna in water
• Flounder
• Catfish
• Tilapia
• Salmon
• Sole
• Eggs

Then I pulled out the old refrigerator calendar, and planed out all of my meals for the week! Seeing it all written down made everything feel more do-able.

I am all set, and ready to go!

Tomorrow is day 1, of the first 17 day cycle.

And weigh in day!

Wish us luck! By "us" I mean wish me luck on my diet, and wish my scale luck that it may survive tomorrow's weigh in ;)

Sunday

Violet got her first *big girl* haircut today!  It was very exciting (to us at least!) and she was so super cute sitting in that big chair.

It came out so great, a bob with bangs.  Easy for me and adorable on her too.

My little girl is getting so big.

Saturday

Last night my 'rents took us to a special Christmas lights show.  It was really cute and Violet loved it.

The pictures above were taken after her visit with Santa -- an attraction in addition to the light show.  She caught sight of this Rudolph and *had* to have a picture with him too.

She is so darn cute.

She is at this age where everything is SO exciting to her.  She gasps in amazement at the smallest things.  It is really fun to see. 

Friday

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I spent the holiday with my mum and sisters.  Lots of good homemade yummies, hugs and conversation. 

This year was kind of a first for me though -- Violet spent the day with her Dad and his family, while I went to my sister and brother-in-law's home.  It was a rough time for me, being without my girl on such an important holiday, but the day came and went and I made it through.

(Also, we found out some heartbreaking news before dinner -- a sudden death in my bro-in-law's family.  It was so devastating but thankfully, he had his wife (my beautiful, very pregnant sister!) and her family all around him.)

I came away with an important realization:

1. Holidays can be very stressful and very LONELY for people.  For many reasons.  I did not understand this sort of thing until now.  Some people are estranged from family or sad or in a bad place.  Some people are missing family that live far away or that have passed away.  Some people (like me for instance) just want this time of year to pass so that the stress, financial burden and family issues will be safely behind them.  The sadness or loneliness is only made worse with the constant media hype and inflated expectations.  It can be such a difficult time, thank goodness for the happy parts that sneak in too (like seeing all my sisters together or watching my mom take over in the kitchen)...

To me, all of this means that *LIFE IS TOO SHORT* to be angry or unforgiving or mean.  It feels like a duty to actually pay attention, reach out, to be there for the ones you care about.  Especially to family.  Not everyone has a wonderful time, the holiday spirit is out of reach to some folks. 

I guess to be thankful for any ounce of love and compassion I receive is my goal this year.  I will definitely return it in any way that I can.

My 29 pound reality check- Starting over

Last March I decided that weighing myself was doing more harm then good. Only losing 1 pound (or less) a week, sent me straight to a carton of ice cream. I had decided that I simply needed to live my healthy lifestyle, and not obsess about how slow the scale was moving. Stepping off the scale really worked. For a while. It worked when I was staying on track. I knew I was losing weight, but I was protecting myself from getting discouraged about how long it was taking. However, it didn't work when I was eating donuts and ice cream. At that point it turned into a way for me to be in denial that the junk I was eating was making me fat. That denial is exactly what's been going on for the past couple months.

Last week, I had a doctors appointment. I normally look away when they're weighing me, but I decided it was time to get out of denial, and get back in touch with reality.

In the back of my mind, I figured I had probably gained 10, maybe even 20 pounds. But what I saw on the scale that day at the doctors office, was that I had gained 29 pounds. I am now 190. The lowest I had gotten down to on this weight loss journey was 161.

For the past week I've been trying to decide where to go from here.

Here's how I see it:
I can either cry about it. Curl up into a ball and eat a cheeseburger, and be back up to 206+ pounds in no time. Or, I can pick myself up, and get back on the horse. I can stop thinking about yesterdays mistakes, and focus on the future... The future where I only have one chin, and no muffin top.

I choose the latter of the two. In the grand scheme of things, it's just 29 pounds. It's not like I went and gained all my weight back. Or more. I'm making a promise to myself that I will never see 206 on the scale ever again. And I am taking the appropriate steps to keeping that promise. Even though it would be easier to just throw in the towel, and fully embrace my old eating habits.

To help whip my butt back into shape, I'm doing something a little different. I'm going on
The 17 Day Diet. I've heard lots of success stories on other weight loss blogs, and I'm really excited to try it. It's 3 cycles of 17 days (51 days total), and then I will be back to my :Deliciously Healthy way of losing weight from there.

Tomorrow is day 1. I'm going to blog each and every day, while on the 17 day diet. This blog helped me to lose weight in the beginning. I've always said that I wouldn't have been able to lose the weight I had lost without my blog, and my readers. The support and accountability that comes from my blog, are more valuable to me then any weight loss plan, magic pill, or infomercial selling some exercise thingy-ma-bob. When I stopped doing weekly weigh-ins, I lost some of that accountability. So, I'm bring them back! Tuesdays are my weigh in days.

This is my "starting" picture.
190lbs:
Tomorrow is day 1 of getting my sexy back. I kinda can't wait :)

Sunday

Friday

An update:

1. So my attempt to exercise 15 days in November failed miserably!  I worked out two days only. I have to say I am pretty disappointed but I won't dwell. I can't.  My EXCUSE (and I always have one) is that I didn't put myself or my health first because I have a million other things happening at the same time.  My schedule has a ton of early mornings which tend to have me groggy and lazy and coffee-bound a lot of times.  When I get a handle on my routine, then maybe I can concentrate on better time management.  I *did* find the time to get on my yoga mat though, even just once, and I hope I can do more of that soon too.

2. My finances are a nightmare.  I know everyone has money issues and they deal, but the pressure is definitely on.  I can't sleep thinking about all of my debt and I am scared to spend the smallest amount of cash.  And that makes me *want* to spend it, on items that comfort.  Like sweets and coffee.  Yikes. 

3. My lack of money makes my brain scramble when it comes to planning my diet.  I have no idea where to start and I am severely overwhelmed right now.  What can I afford?  The good stuff costs WAY MORE than the convenient.  I know I really should take it one-step-at-a-time, as to make my biggies into smaller, easier-to-handle parts.  But I have so many parts!!  Double yikes.

4. On a different note, I have been feeling this awful nagging Violet-related feeling lately.  It rips and pulls at my heart so bad.  It is the thought that she is growing up too fast!  I don't want her to get any older!!  I know it sounds weird so I wonder if other Mommies ever get this feeling too  -- I say yeah, they probably do and at that point they have another child!  But I do not want any more babies, I just want her and I want her to always be my baby.  I love her SO MUCH.

5. The job search continues, especially now in light of my brokeness.  I actually have been looking for slightly less "professional" type opportunities and night jobs too.  I still want to make more money while maximizing my Violet time.... I have been thinking about graduate school again and as always, teacher training.  But as my finances continue to spiral down, those dreams seem more and more distant.  I am definitely unclear and still floundering when it comes to my future.