She took a deep breath, declared her heart free
and thanked herself for being so patient with it.
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Maybe it is the weather, the season's changing -- but I definitely have been feeling the need to be free lately. Free as in, free to be a little wild, a little less stressed and a lot more happy. I want to get to the bottom of so many of my issues, needs and wants. I want to keep changing for the better.
1. Diet and exercise haven't gone well the past couple of weeks. When I get stressed or down, I tend to start this bad food - sleeping pill - caffeine cycle. It takes a little while of feeling like poo, then I snap out of it and get back on track.
2. I have been adding kale and spinach to my beloved morning smoothies lately and let me say, it makes them so much less appetizing. I love my greens just as much as the next nut but they have ruined my fruit/almond butter favorite. I may have to take them out of the rotation and bring the yum back. I've felt so blah in the kitch' lately, not making anything new or interesting. This kale/spinach thing is not helping.
3. Speaking of smoothies, my blender has been acting up lately. I went to make a drink a few days ago and threw an ice cube in to keep things cold. My blender froze-up and whirred like it was stuck, way overexerting the motor. Now it leaks. I certainly do not have the $$ to replace it. Here's hoping it won't break on me yet.
4. I find myself in some tough financial straits right now. I have a sweet job in a beautiful place but I definitely wish I made more money. Worrying about how to pay for gas and tolls and rent and everything else is such a stress, I worry constantly (hence diet and sleep woes).
5. Violet is great though. She has been having more good than bad preschool mornings, meaning she doesn't always give me a hard time. I still miss her so bad I could scream and I wish to God I could still be with her like I used to. But knowing she doesn't hate school as much anymore is helpful because I do need to make a living away from her. She is learning and maturing in so many ways. She is getting ready to read. She also seems to be maturing emotionally too, I have noticed quite a change in her. I am ever so proud of my girl.