Kamis, 29 Desember 2011


Making the decision to have children is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  - E. Stone

Today Violet said, "I don't want to grow up."  And I wholeheartedly agreed.  I don't want her to either!  I love her this way, still small enough to carry and hold close.  Her little legs wrap around my waist so tight.  Her head snuggles into my neck.  She is heavy now though, a sure sign that she won't be able to be picked-up + held for much longer.  I will miss it so so much.  I already miss many things about my baby V but the big girl I know now is so wonderful as well.  Our conversations are definitely more interesting and she shares affection now without cause.

An update:
1. I have been dealing with some cuckoo-crazy garbage, family-wise as of late.  The psychotic behavior of some of my family members is off the damn charts.  I know most people can relate, we all have 'em in our families.  Hell, some of us ARE that person.  Oh well.

2. My diet was slipping for a few days around Christmas time.  Even this morning was iffy but I cleaned it up just in time and I am back on track.  I made two juices today: beet/apple/carrot/celery and kale/spinach/apple/parsley.

A few days ago I went to my first raw restaurant, Revitalive Cafe.  I did not take any pictures of my meal, although I had intended to.  I ate it up pretty quick as it was very good.  I ordered a "burger" and shared a chocolate brownie bar for dessert.  All natural and uncooked and really really delicious!  Best veggie burger I have ever eaten, better than cooked for sure.  I can't wait to go back again and try more from the menu.

3. For Christmas I received some new sneakers (for working out at the gym or outside in spring!!).  And also, a gift certificate to Bikram Yoga.  So I am definitely in position to resume moving my body when the time is right.

4. I have been looking at graduate schools again like mad.  I don't know though, it is so much money and I have to take the stupid GRE too.  I am feeling pretty flat about the whole thing.  Can I be financed?  I already owe about a billion dollars for my undergraduate degree. 

Even though I am scared that I am not good enough to go back to school and I don't know how the heck I would afford it, I am downright excited about the prospect of it.  I love school, I love learning and I want to do something more with my life and career.  I know I am more than capable of the academics of it all, I am one smart cookie.  I just don't quite know how to "get there" yet.

Honestly I want to do something so much better, professionally.  I want to love what I do, make a difference and make some cash!  I want to make enough money to someday finance Violet's education AND have enough to do my yoga schooling too.  I pretty much want it all.

Rabu, 28 Desember 2011


We went out to lunch yesterday, just us girls. V, Me and Ponyo. 

V showed me how to use her Leapfrog Reader. It is really neat.
I let her eat a frosting topped cookie in the car.  Yikes!

Selasa, 27 Desember 2011


More Christmas pictures!

And more Christmas morning action!
Violet and my Dad.
Check out her awesome Rudolph headband.

My Dad introduced V-spot to the fine art of scratch ticketing.

Daddy, V and Princess Celestia.

Violet and Jingle.

Fingerpainting with Grampy.

V and G doing a cool maze activity.

Senin, 26 Desember 2011


Christmas is over, phew!  Violet got SO MUCH STUFF.  It is a little overwhelming actually but I am so pleased that she is so incredibly loved by our families.  She received many thoughtful gifts like art supplies, games and soft toys (that she has wanted for months now).

Her Daddy was kind enough to send me a few shots he took of us from Christmas morning:

Jumat, 23 Desember 2011

My Plan, and my early Christmas present!!

I can't believe Christmas Eve is tomorrow! I am so excited!

After 3 days of struggling on the 17 day diet (Mon, Tues, Wed), I am back on track with my eating. I've decided to stay on the 1st cycle until the day after Christmas. I wanted to give myself a day off my diet, during this fun and joyous time of year. I just had to decide if I wanted my off day to be Christmas Eve, or Christmas. After lots of thought (lol), I've decided that on Christmas Eve I will let myself eat, and be merry (in moderation of course). That is part of the reason why I've decided to stay on the 1st cycle until after Christmas.


My hubby brought me home an early Christmas present while he was visiting in NY:A Goldendoodle puppy!

We've named her Bellissimo. It means lovely in Italian. This little pup has definitely been keeping me busy! But we absolutely love her! She has made this Christmas very special.


I am not the most crafty Momma, I admit this.

Sadly, I am not very creative in the way of motherhood things.  I don't do photo albums, I barely create crafts for Violet and I do not freely think of things to keep her intellectually engaged all the time.

I mean I do try my best.

But I still feel tremendous guilt a lot of the time.  For this or that or for anything I think V misses out on.

Which leads me to this hilarious thing I read today on the blog People I want to punch in the throat!  Funny blog name, ha.  But really, she is talking about that stupid Elf on the Shelf craze that all those overzealous, dippy mommies out there are talking about incessently.  If I hear another person at my work mention it, I will scream.  I am totally with the lady on that blog --- I am NOT that mommy.  I could never get that weirdness together, even if I tried.  And that's okay.

Anyways read it from the link... I posted a funny response to it here:

Yesterday a few of my Facebook friends all posted this one blog post. It’s awesome! If you’re a mom or a dad of a 2 year old plus- you’re going to know what The Elf on the Shelf is. Before you read any more, you have to read this post from People I Want to Punch in the Throat. Hilarious. She so eloquently puts exactly what we’re thinking and yet makes it funny. Since her blog name is so long, I’ll dub her Punch. Punch should be a commenter on “I love the 80s” or 90s…

First off – I do not have an Elf on the Shelf for my kids. I feel very guilty about this like they’re missing out on a critical part of Christmas traditions and memories that their little friends will cherish and tell their Elf stories as they grow up. Haa haa! They’ll all share a laugh and my kids will be left out because their terrible mom did not participate in the Elfcapades. But have you seen the Elf included in the boxed book set? He’s freaking scary! He looks like my childhood doll nightmares! Not quite clown scary, but close. I don’t want this thing in my house! And then, I read the post above, and the blogger actually has one elf, but two children – so she’s feeling the guilt that each child won’t have their own elf to keep . That means, I’d need TWO scary little elves watching over my kids. I can just hear the little, “Eeee eee eee,” stabbing noise from the horror movies of my childhood. To be fair, one facebook friend does have a stuffed elf (so maybe the ones that come with freak her out too) but it’s still a little scary looking anyway. I’m sure I could search for elves on Amazon and find a normal looking one, but then I’d have to take an extra step, spend more money, and then my son would probably be one of those kids who could give a rip.

Anyway, I do feel better about not having an Elf now, knowing from reading the blog post from Punch, that she has an elf and feels guilty anyway. For not having two and for not doing enough silly things with her elf. If I had an elf, then I’d just have different guilt and more to remember.


2011 is almost done.
It was an interesting year to say the least.  SO MUCH happened to me, I can't even begin to rehash. 
I will say this though, 2012 better be good or else.
Some of my plans/ideas/goals this coming year look like this: (in no particular order)
1. Clean my car. And yes, this is number one because it comes to mind first. It is pretty bad, almost 911 status.
2. Get Violet to all her appropriate places including the dentist, doctor and school! Yikes. I have been so lazy about these things for too long now.
3. Go back to school.  This is the year I am going back, it means everything and I want to make a positive, amazing change for myself.
4. Figure out what-the-H is going on in my personal life.  Life is messy I know this, but seriously I need to clean up shop before the karma catches up.
5. Continue to follow my diet goals.  I want to feel awesome in 2012.
6. Get the yoga routine back, baby.

And some of the wonderous things I accomplished in 2011:
1. I conquered my audience-fears many times going on scary job interviews!  Yes maybe unsuccessful so far but definitely more informed and prepared for the right one now.
2. I had a ton of awesome experiences with Violet.  We had quite a year with yoga, the beach, pottery, museum trips, park days and just everyday life and times.  I have a few months left before she is in school and I plan to cherish the time like crazy.
3. I met with my student loan officer and made progress towards debt resolution. (Resolution = my loans still being paid when Violet is in college!).  I lost many nights of sleep over this issue and I am damn proud of myself for, buckling down like an adult and figuring it out.
4. Although I had many struggles with time and emotion, I managed to keep a ton of yummy green food in my diet.  I also did a fair share of yoga. 

Kamis, 22 Desember 2011


Breakfast this morning...

So beautiful.

Today she saw Santa again, this time with a friend.

Rabu, 21 Desember 2011

Our date night, a weigh-in, and an update

This past Tuesday, my husband and I went on our date to see the nutcracker.
Me in my reward dress!:It was such a fun night with my husband. After the nutcracker, we walked around Denver, and went out to a fancy dinner. I felt beautiful and girly in my dress. Joe kept complimenting me the entire night, and congratulating me on my weight loss. I was on cloud 9, and I felt so proud of myself!


Monday was supposed to be the end of cycle 1, and the beginning of cycle 2. Here's my final weigh-in for cycle 1:
(my starting weight was 190.4) On the 1st cycle, I lost 14.4 pounds!

Since Monday, I haven't been doing so good.
Monday I was busy, busy, busy, and didn't make time to eat. I didn't eat until 9pm! I was starving, and too tired to cook, so I had a burrito. Tuesday was our date night, and I just wanted to enjoy myself at the restaurant, and not eat yet another salad. I felt content with that decision. One fancy dinner wasn't going to kill me, or undo everything I accomplished on the 1st cycle. But of course that thought process spilled over into today. Today I've eaten 3 cookies.


So now I'm trying to figure out what to do from here:
Continue on with the 2nd cycle, even though I haven't been doing well, and have gained back 2lbs?
Or go back to the 1st cycle for a few days to undo my bad behavior, and then start the 2nd cycle fresh?

Why did this have to go and get complicated? I was doing so well...


This is Miss Violet yesterday, hard at work -tongue out- being super cute.  We were crafting some very special, top secret gifts for her many special Aunties (and Nana).

I am hoping Violet's holiday enthusiasm rubs off on me some as I am feeling kind of humbug about the season mostly.  Getting tired of the music, commercials and work party stuff.  I feel kind of bliss-less and lonely this time of year.  As a piss-broke adult with marriage/family junk, the season can be kind of rough.  I will be happy to give V her gifts and move on asap.

Although... I am pretty darn excited for the birth of my niece any day now -- she is due to make her appearance Christmas day.  I cannot wait to hold her and kiss her.  She will be so incredibly beautiful, no doubt, just like my sis...  I love the idea of our growing family, it makes me feel blessed.  I definitely also like the idea of more babies to love and snuggle, (just not my own!).

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My diet has ROCKED still.  A cheat here for there (wth! its Christmas so I have to) but nothing crazy.  Work treats kill me, I can not resist them.  My time at home has been great though, I make a juice every single day, sometimes two.  I make many smoothies as well and a staple lately has been hummus on romaine.

I have been juicing beets this week.  I usually make a beet/apple/carrot/celery juice.  Or maybe a simple green with kale/spinach/apple/parsley.  I have a few good juice bible books (thanks to MH) and I have been looking at them lately for more juicing inspiration.

I made more kale chips and a strawberry cheezecake.  I would post the cake recipe and give creds but I completely forgot a main component.  It came out *okay* but I was a little disappointed.  I think if I try again and make it right, it will be fantastic.


OWEN. Best kitty-cat ever.

Senin, 19 Desember 2011


Last week was a rollercoaster for me.  First I was hopeful and crazy excited, then very sad and disappointed.

I had this job interview.  And it went pretty well, as far as how I handled it.  I spoke easily and with confidence.  I studied my questions and wore a simple, pretty dress.  I took my time and only stumbled through a few things.  I was still nervous so there were a few awkward silences.  Overall it was successful though and I drove away from the meeting feeling really good, like I might actually have a shot this time!

This particular job opportunity hit home for me, big time.  It was for a museum (being a art history major, this was *perfect* for me and my education/experience!) and the hours were full-time seasonal/part-time non-seasonal (hello Violet time!).  The grounds were beautiful and the buildings/exhibition spaces were incredible.  I think I fell in love with the idea of working in this amazing place.  I knew that I could do the job and that I would LOVE to do the job too.  I wanted this job so much, I was literally dreaming about the things I could do in this position.  I was SO ready to start this new thing I could feel it in my bones.  I suppose I kind of set myself up for a fall but I was too excited to control my imagination.

The deadline for the employer's response came and went.  I knew I did not get it and of course, expected the "thanks but no thanks" letter, which came promptly.  It was a huge rejection for me and my ego suffered so much.  I cried and whined and felt a pain like heartbreak.  I know I know, it was just a job.  But I saw my future in it and it was something I found meaning in... finally.

I hope I stumble upon similiar again SOON and that I get another chance to possibility do something worthwhile.

I won't settle and I can't give up.

Kamis, 15 Desember 2011

17 day diet- cycle 1, day 16: My Christmas dress

I was going to wait until Saturday or Monday to buy my dress, when I actually finished the first cycle. But I just couldn't wait. And I'm glad I didn't, because there was only one dress left! Luckily it was the size I needed.
I bought a clutch to go with:And a belt :) Now I just have to find a cardigan, and my Christmas outfit will be complete. Here's the outfit so far:If you're asking yourself if I hung my dress on the chandelier, the answer is yes. Yes I did.
I was going to take a picture of me in the dress, but my photographer is out of town ;) I'll be sure to take pictures on our Christmas date night!

This was such a fun reward for myself. I had fun putting it all together, and I absolutely love the dress! The bottom is flowy, and I couldn't stop twirling in it, in the fitting room.

I'm almost done with the first cycle, and I have to say, all the hard work has been worth it.


When she is hard at work... her tongue comes out.  I assume this is a sign of genius.

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Today I made two juices:
1. Kale/romaine/green apple/parsley/celery
2. Beet/red apple/carrot/celery

#2 was really really good.  #1 not so much.

I have been making juice like CRAZY lately, more than I ever have.  And although it seems rather wasteful right now (SO much pulp!), I am thinking about ways to be more super pulp-savvy.  I think I want to save the pulp, freeze it and find cracker recipes to incorporate it into my cooking.

This week I also whipped up the following:
1. Kale Chips.  SO GOOD! (Got the recipe here.)
2. Chickpea salad. Not so good and recipe unknown (sort of a mish-mash of ideas and online recipes).
3. Hummus. I actually haven't tried it yet but it smells pretty good.

I sprouted my chick peas for the above recipes for about three days.  It was neat to watch them grow and change into these little sprouties with tails.  The chick pea salad I made was not very good for whatever reason, maybe because I wanted it to taste like the kind from the supermarket.  The flavoring was just too bland I think. 

The hummus seems like it might be good... hard to tell though, I am not sure that the raw peas will have the same *yumminess* of the cooked kind.  I guess I will find out soon enough.  It sounds completely silly but I am almost afraid to try it because of all the time and ingredients that I put into the recipe.  If I don't like it, it will be huge waste. 

I've decided that cooked or not, homemade or not, I want to keep hummus in my diet for now.  I love it so much and it is nutritionally dense either way.  It is definitely a comfort food for me, filling and creamy.  I like to spread it over romaine (nature's taco shell/bread slice/wrap) and sprinkle on some other little goodies like carrot sticks or broccoli. 

Rabu, 14 Desember 2011

17 day diet- cycle 1, day 15: Switching it up

Friday is my last day on the first cycle. Since I had a couple less then stellar days last week, I want to extend the first cycle just a tad. I want Sunday to be the end of the first cycle, and start the 2nd cycle Monday. Call me crazy, but I just feel better about this for some reason.

I also decided to switch my reward for successfully ending the 1st cycle. Instead of getting that darling purse, I want to buy a Christmas dress for my reward. The hubby is going to take me on a date to see the nutcracker, and I want something festive to wear. Plus, with Christmas being on Sunday, I want something pretty to wear to church. I found a red sparkly dress (and a clutch to match;) at kohls that I fell in love with. I'm going to go back in the next couple days to get it! I'll most def take pictures :) That purse is definitely still going to be one of my rewards, though. I mean, that purse belongs on my arm. Maybe at the end of the 3rd cycle?

I've been reassessing my goal weight for the past couple months. My goal weight was 120 pounds; but when I look at pictures of myself at that weight, I just don't like the way I look.
120 pounds: However, when I look at pictures of myself at 140 pounds, I do.
140 pounds:So, my new goal weight is 140 pounds. It just feels right to me. I'm a women with curves, and I like that. I don't need to be a stick. With us trying to get pregnant, my 120 pound goal was stressing me out. "Do I try and reach that before we get pregnant?", "That's so far away!". A 140 pound goal seems very doable. After having a baby, I may take a second look at my 120 pound goal, who knows. For this time in my life, 140 pounds feels right.


Selasa, 13 Desember 2011

17 day diet- cycle 1, day 14: Weigh in, and meals

I can't believe it's day 14! Time has flown by this week. Sorry for not keeping my promise to blog everyday while I'm on the 17 day diet. With Christmas just around the corner, life has been a wee bit hectic. We had our, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" date night party this week: I had the girls put on red lipstick, and kiss the Santa. The husbands had to figure out which was their wife's kiss mark ;) It was lots of fun, and I didn't have a single dessert. Yeah, I know, I rock. We got our Christmas cards/pictures ready:And lots of shopping, wrapping, and decorating in between.

I had a good week on the diet, but it wasn't perfect like last week pretty much was. I've let a couple things slip, like having soup with corn in it, or a salad with beans... but over all, I'd say I did pretty darn good.

Today's weight:I lost 2.9 pounds this week. That puts me at a 9.9 pound loss in 2 weeks.

I've been getting a lot of emails asking what exactly I'm eating. I gave a list of the foods you're allowed to eat in THIS post.

On top of that, here's just a few pictures of my meals:

My two favorite things to eat for breakfast on this diet are low-fat cottage cheese with peaches, and eggs with onions and hot sauce:
For lunch I either have a salad (which I usually go somewhere to get), or left overs form dinner:
You're not allowed to have beans, or corn in the first cycle, so be sure your salad only contains items from the list.

Dinners are where I have to get creative. The two recipes I turn to the most are lettuce wrap turkey tacos, and Mexican chicken skillet (minus the corn and beans, and 1 1/2 jars of salsa instead of 1):For snacks I either have fruit (but not past 3pm), or veggies.
I'll try to take more pictures of my meals to show you.

Only 3 days left, and then onto the 2nd cycle!

Senin, 12 Desember 2011


I have been brainstorming ways for Violet and I to give inexpensive, yet thoughtful holiday gifts to our loved ones this year.

In that spirit, we visited our local paint-your-own-pottery studio today!  Violet chose three unique pieces: a unicorn (of course!), angel ornament and a coffee mug to paint for my parents and her Nana.  They are all very lovely with shades of purple, green and blue. Violet is quite the amazing little artist as we all know.

She chose this angel ornament for her Grampy and Grammy.

Here she is choosing colors with her little friend K.

I also found some great bargains this weekend too.  Some good loot for my mum and sister.
It is definitely more difficult to shop on such a tight budget but it can be done.
I think I just have to be a lot more thoughtful actually, which is a good thing.

My diet continues to be awesome, although I am *still* working on creating meals that are filling and nutritious on a day-to-day basis.  I have all these awesome ingredients but putting them together into something great can be tricky for me.  And being short on time or unmotivated will leave me hungry and desperate for convenient foods.

To compensate and still get loads of goodness in me, I have been creating a lot of yummy juices and smoothies.
This weekend I made a beet/apple/carrot juice and it was pretty good.  I've never had the juice of a beet before and barely ate them as a child, so it was a new experience for me. 
It is kind of fun to try these new things and definitely nutritious too.

Minggu, 11 Desember 2011



Violet, my sisters S + K and my Mom had a super cool Gingerbread House Making Party last night!

First we had to eat some *real* food for dinner... before the candy and cookies of course:

Then Auntie S put up our house foundation:  Nice work Auntie.

Grammy helped us assemble too:

As did Auntie K:

After she ate way more sugar than I felt she should, she spent some QT with the Auntie's doggies, Boxer and Thor!