Friday

This morning when I was rushing to get us out the door, I accepted something very powerful.

I am too big to fit into most of my clothes.

I only fit comfortably into two pairs of pants, out of the dozen that I own.

My skirts are s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g to accommodate my hips, tummy and bottom.

I barely look at myself in the mirror these days.  When I do, I see a giant "Mom Butt", red/ruddy skin, and really terrible hair.  I feel super ashamed of myself.  I don't know how I let it get this far.

I ate ice cream for breakfast this week.

Fast food!  I eat fast food, damn it.  And I loathe that crap!

I am doing awesome as far as taking care of Violet the best I can, but I've let my own health slide so bad.  I need to take care of business.  My big butt, terrible skin and low energy must be saved. (The hair can't be helped!)

I put my running shoes by my door to remind me to get my butt out there and moving.  I have been making a menu and getting ready to find all of my yoga movies.  I want to kick so much ass that I feel like a million bucks again.  I hate believing that I have FAILED by letting my health go, I want to remember that this is a journey and I will lose my way many times.

I just want to get back up and feel good about my health again.

The fact that I am as healthy as I am (or have been) has such a powerful effect on my Violet.  I know my diet has influenced her love of exotic veggies and foods.  She is willing to try things and open to food that I would have never eaten at her age.  My positive influence on her is motivation enough to make healthier choices!  She also enjoys yoga because of my own passion.  THESE things are what I need to motivate even at the darkest times.