Rabu, 13 Juni 2012

Wednesday

I follow blogger and therapist Jon, The Angry Therapist as many do, and I find his blog very useful sometimes.  He is helpful to me in the way that he seems to say the right thing at the right time to help snap me out of my blues.  I like his wit.  I also like the way he is constantly reminding us to forgive ourselves and be kinder to ourselves.  He believes in the process of becoming better, being the best we can be -- I believe this too. 

The little bits of important insight and positive refocusing I HUGELY appreciate and I am so happy he has a blog like this to share.  He is also pretty funny sometimes too.  And he uses profanity on a regular basis and that makes me happy in some small, naughty way.

Below I repost something I read this morning... it hits home for me big time.  I don't want to make the same mistake his father made.  I don't want to take out my feelings on those I love most and I definitely don't want to be a "dark cloud" over my own life or those of my loved ones.


A Must Have Non-Negotiable
If there was an emotional tool fairy and she told me I can go back in time and give one emotional tool to anyone I wish, I would give my dad the ability to have a good attitude, exude positive energy. When I was growing up and things were shitty, when we were in debt and the family business was not doing well, my dad never kept his chin up, smiled, and remind us that going through this will only make us stronger and that he was proud of us. Instead, he would worry, panic, and put his insecurities and self doubt on us. He would act like the sky was falling and run around sucking all the energy out of us. He would act like a child. He would make it about him. He would react instead of respond, completely unaware of the damage he was causing his family.

Today, I wonder what I would be like if my dad possessed that tool, knew the value in it, and passed it on to me, if he modeled resilience and positivity. I don’t think I would have been so angry in my 20’s. I think I would have been in healthier relationships. I think I would have been more successful. I think I would have been happier.

Okay, enough of the what ifs. The question is what now? The answer is this is now a non-negotiable for me. No matter how bad things get, I choose to have a good attitude, practice gratitude, and appreciate everything I have. I accept and deal with, knowing that it will make me stronger instead of whine, pout, and bring others down with me. But I struggle with this. It’s not easy. It’s ingrained. No one taught me what changing your attitude / energy looks like. Therefore, I do slip at times.

The last few weeks have been that way. But I will not drown in self pity as my father did and I will not put my stress, anxiety, and unhappiness on others. Finally, and this is the part of the non-negotiable that most have difficulty with, I will not surround myself with people that do not possess this tool.

Energy is everything. It really is. And it starts with a choice. How many people do you know that walk with a black cloud over their heads and when you spend time with them, you end up leaving completely exhausted? If you surround yourself with people like that, what do you think your life will look like? What if you were living with someone like that? Maybe you are.

How many people do you know that leave you feeling light, invigorated, and invincible? People that can go into a room and lift it. Seek those people, in your friendships but especially intimate relationships. When shit hits the fan in your life, and you know that it will, a nice ass, beautiful smile, or money will not fix it. Don’t compromise positive energy. It’s gold.
         
- Angry

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