Fertility update, and being happy with me :)

In THIS post, I talked about my battle with trying to lose weight, while trying to get pregnant. In THIS post I talked about my solution to the problem. I had decided to finish up my Clomid, which would go through to the end of July. If I wasn't pregnant by July, we would take 3 months off so I could lose weight, and so we could save money for future fertility treatments.

But... My Clomid hasn't worked for the past two months. Meaning it didn't get me to ovulate. In the 4 months that I have been on Clomid, it's actually only worked once.

So... there's a new plan:
My doctor is upping my Clomid dosage, and is going to do regular ultra sounds to see what my ovaries are up to, while on the clomid. I've decided to give the Clomid one more fighting chance. I'm crossing my fingers that the clomid will work 3 months in a row, and that I will get pregnant one of those 3 months. If the clomid doesn't work in those 3 months, we will go right into the next step.

There's no longer a battle going on in my head.
My focus is on becoming a mother. If I had to choose between losing more weight, or starting our family, I would choose my family. Why the sudden change of heart? Somewhere in the past couple weeks,
I became happy with myself.
I've become filled with gratitude for losing 45 pounds, and not being 206 pounds anymore.

Before:After: Why was that huge accomplishment not enough for me? I don't know. All I know is, I want to be a mother, and so far, I've lost 45 pounds to help make that happen.

I will of course continue with my :Deliciously Healthy lifestyle, and keep trying to lose weight until I get pregnant. And when I do become pregnant, I will have one :Deliciously Healthy pregnancy.

Thanks for listening to all of my fertility talk :)

I heart you, and my decision.

First up, THANK YOU!
Thank you for all your comments and emails. Your advice and opinions helped me to see things more clearly... both ways I'll admit, but it still helped :) It also helps to know that I am not in this alone. There are lots of women with the same battle going on in their head.

Your comments helped me to see that I'm not obese. I've lost 45 pounds, and that is something to be proud of. if I get pregnant tomorrow, it's not the end of the world, as far as my weight goes. At least I won't be getting pregnant at 206 pounds, and that in itself is an accomplishment. You reminded me that I can have a healthy pregnancy, and I don't have to gain 40 pounds, which would definitely help. And like you said, I will never regret having a baby, but I might regret waiting. I hate that my weight has gotten in the way of us being parents. I just want to stop obsessing about my weight, and get on with living our dreams together.

On the other hand, you helped me to see that I am only 23 years old (almost 24). Even if I put it off for a year, I would still be about 25 when I (hopefully) become pregnant. That's pretty young. But I don't feel young. I feel like I'm trapped inside of an 80 year old body, due to my health issues. I've also been married for almost 6 years. We are ready to have a baby. It's all my husband talks about. I hate the fact that he would have to wait even longer to be a daddy, because I couldn't find a way to put down the cheesecake. But hey, I'm sure he would be entertained during the wait, as he watched me shrink back down to the 120 pound girl he married. My weight is a battle I have not officially won, and it's annoying. I just want to get to my goal weight, and finally win this battle. I want to have a healthy pregnancy, and actually look cute while pregnant.

It's still a hard decision, and I still want both. Go figure.

But I think I've come to a compromise:

My fertility doctor said we would try clomid for 3 cycles (3 months), and then move onto more drastic (and expensive) procedures. July will be the 3rd cycle. I've decided that I want to finish what I've started with the clomid. I've already taken the clomid to have a cycle this month. So if it doesn't work this month, I would only take it one more time, for the month of July. If I'm not pregnant by the time I finish the clomid, then we will take 3 months off trying to get pregnant. This will give us time to both save money for the more expensive procedures that we would start in November, and also give me 3 months to lose 20-30 pounds. Because I will be kicking some serious weight loss butt during that time. I'm going to keep with my diet while finishing up the clomid. I haven't weighed myself, but last I checked I was 165, so I'm assuming I'm 160. If I didn't get pregnant with the clomid by the end of July, then I would be hopefully starting the month of August at 155 pounds. I'm hoping that between August and November I can get down to 125-135 pounds.

I would be happy with either outcome. If I get pregnant between now and July, then at least I'm not getting pregnant at 206 pounds. I've always been so worried that I would never be able to get pregnant, that I'm sure seeing a positive pregnancy test will wash away all my concerns about getting pregnant at the weight that I am. And if we don't, then I have three months to get down to a healthier weight, which could even help us have better luck getting pregnant in November.

I feel at peace with our decision. I will be a mother, and get to my goal weight. I can't snap my fingers and have them both at the same time, but I know that I will have them both, eventually. I just know it.

The battle

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted.
I honestly have no idea what the heck happened to the time. At one point, I thought it had been a week since I last posted, but when I looked at my blog, I realized it had been two! Then I spent this past week with writers block. And here I still sit with it. So I'm going to push through it, and just type.

Do you know what goes through my mind as soon as my eyes open in the morning? My diet. My weight. Fertility, and trying to get pregnant while also trying to lose weight. It's also what's going through my mind as I fall asleep at night. Come to think of it, I'm constantly thinking about it. I am so sick of it! I'm tired of thinking about it.

I hate that it's easy one day, and seemingly impossible the next day. I hate that I couldn't have just stayed skinny after I got married. I hate my stretch marks, and what I've done to my body. I hate that it's been 1 1/2 years, and I've only lost 45 pounds in that time. I hate that I waisted half of that 1 1/2 years not being fully committed. I could have made it to my goal weight during that time, if I had really given it all I had, 100% of the time; and I hate that. I hate trying to lose weight, while trying to get pregnant. One half of me wants to roll my sleeves up, and kick some serious weight loss butt. I want to give it all I've got, and lose my last 40 pounds in 6 months. That half of me is secretly hoping I don't get pregnant that month, so I can lose more weight. The other half of me wants to get pregnant. This month. I want to be a mother, and I'm tired of waiting. The two halves totally contradict each other, and sabotage one another. When I'm thinking about my weight loss, the thought actually crosses my mind to put trying to get pregnant aside for 6 months, so I can lose the rest of my weight. But when I'm favoring the baby side, all I can think about is how excited I am to be a mother, and I absolutely hate myself for ever thinking about putting getting pregnant on hold. I hate this fertility/weight loss battle that is constantly going on in my head.

So that's what's going on with me. I'm trying to figure out which I want more: Getting to my goal weight, or getting pregnant. I want them both...

Clomid and prenatal vitamins

There are pros and cons to trying to get pregnant.

Pro: Prenatal vitamins. (these are my favorite so far.)

These vitamins are like Miracle Grow for your hair and nails. I cut my hair short back in November, and it's already almost the length it was before I cut it! The time before last, it took my hair 2 stinckin' years to get back to it's previous length! So naturally, it makes me want to cut my hair short again. If it's going to grow back this fast, why not?

I think I'm going to take prenatal vitamins for the rest of my life. That's not bad, is it? ;)

Con: Clomid.(Can I have cruddier photos? No. I can not.)

This is the first month that I'm on the right dosage of Clomid. As you can see, I've taken all my little pills ;) So far it hasn't been as bad as some of the horror stories I've heard... but it's not a walk in the park either.

I've gotten quite a few emails asking me how the Clomid is working, and what the symptoms of Clomid have been, so I thought I would list them for you:

• Emotional. If the Pampers, and various different cancer commercials didn't make me cry before, they do now. This has resulted in me being ultra clingy to my honey bunny baby bear (that's the Clomid talking;). I need a hug from him like every 10 minutes.
• Bloated. Since I'm not weighing myself, I count on the way I feel, and how my clothes fit, to tell me how I'm doing. Right now I feel like I've gained 5-10 pounds. I've been good, so that shouldn't be the case.
• Menstrual cramps. I don't think I need to explain how much those suck.
• Small Pimples on my forehead. I need to get some Proactive.
  
• Muscle cramps. Since I was younger, I've been getting muscle cramps in my legs. You know that pain you have when you get on the floor, put your legs out in front of you, and try to touch your toes? (that question is for the non-limber folk;) Well it's that same exact pain, only constant. When I was younger they told me they were growing pains. They never went away, but as I got older, they only came when it was that time of the month. Since I've started the Clomid, I've gotten them every night :/

In a nutshell, taking Clomid is a lot like PMS.
If it works, it will all be worth it.

Moral of the story:
I'm an emotional girl with long hair.

Are you a vitamin taker?

If you would like to share you experience with clomid, you're welcome to leave it in the comments. I have lots of readers who would like to know more :D

Stupid pharmacy...

The month of March was supposed to be my
first month on Clomid, a fertility drug that will stimulate my ovaries to ovulate. 3 days into my "cycle", I was to start taking the medicine, and continue taking it for 5 days. Remember this photo? Well, there were supposed to be two of these little packets.

Since you take the medicine for 5 days, and there were only 5 pills, I assumed that meant that I was supposed to take one pill a day, which I did. A few weeks later, I was "late". My period was MIA, and I started picking out baby names. After a few days of waiting to make sure it wasn't coming, I took a pregnancy test. I thought for sure I was finally going to see a positive... instead I saw what I always see: A negative pregnancy test. I called my fertility doctor upset, and explained that my period was late, and the pregnancy test came back negative. I told her it must mean that I didn't ovulate this month, which meant the clomid didn't work. She started telling me what our next plan of action was, which is when she asked me what my dosage was. I told her I took one pill a day, for 5 days... and that's when she told me I was supposed to be taking 2 pills a day, for 5 days. She looked up the prescription, and confirmed that I had taken the wrong dosage. She then explained that the pharmacy must have gotten it messed up.

I am now reverting back to my 5 year old ways, and calling the pharmacy a butthead. While I stick my tongue out at it.

Right now I'm taking Provera, a drug that will make me have a period, so that I can start taking the clomid 3 days into the cycle. For real this time.

Normally I would have drowned my sorrows into some kind of unhealthy goodness. Instead, I ate 2 of these deliciously healthy chocolate chip cookies, with a small glass of low-fat milk.
(I can't for the life of me upload pics from my camera, so I had to use my phone)It did just the trick. These cookies are free of white flour, and oh so yummy.

Trials will come. That is life. But I will NOT drown my sorrows in food, and let it get the best of me.
I deserve to be healthy, and it's up to me to make that happen.

I know that I will be a Mommy someday. It just wasn't this month.

Stupid pharmacy.
It's going to take me a couple days to stop saying that ;)

Blog shy

Yes. It has been 2 weeks since I last blogged.
I've had lots to say, over the past 2 weeks, but every time I would sit down to write a post, I would get.... shy. Blogging made me nervous all of a sudden. It was seriously weird.

But I'm back.
Hello world.

Here's just a few random things from the past 2 weeks:

I went to whole foods for the first time:I have been on this weight loss journey for over a year, and I had never gone to a whole foods. I don't believe it myself.

I've been trying some new, clean and healthy products, as a result of my recent trip to Whole Foods:

Cinnamon raisin bagels:Love.

All different kinds of butters: Dislike all of the above.

All natural chocolate chip cookies: Not the best I've ever had, but it's nice to have something chocolaty and "clean" in the freezer, for when I turn into the cookie monster.

Luna bars:
Love. The only problem is, so does my husband. Doesn't he see the label? Women only! ;)

I have developed a love/hate relationship with ovulation tests:Every morning I get a sense of rejection/failure when a little stick tells me I'm not ovulating.
I have yet to see a positive test. My fertility Doctor told me that my PCOS can prevent these tests from working right, but that she still wanted me to take them.
I think I may have ovulated this month, as I had all the "signs" THIS article pointed out.
How many sticks does a girl have to pee on to get pregnant?

I bought this, Clean Eating cook book:
I heart this book. Not only does it give you lots of clean eating recipes, including desserts (none of which I have tried, because I am currently too lazy to bake), it's also a whole guide on how to eat clean. Why I didn't buy a clean eating book from the get go, is beyond me.

And I have developed a small crush on 50 Cent:
That is all.

Do you ever get blog shy?
What healthy foods are you currently loving?

Let the fun begin

Tomorrow I start taking Clomid; a fertility drug to help stimulate my ovaries. Sounds exciting ;)I have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us. Whatever will be, will be.
But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will bring a little bundle of joy into our lives soon :)

Fertility Appointment

Today was my fertility appointment.May I just say that I LOVE my fertility doctor.
A lot.

One of the first things she mentioned was my weight loss. She was very happy, and proud of me. She told me that losing weight had no doubt helped my PCOS, and that my regular period cycles were proving that. She talked about insulin resistance, and how it directly effects the amount of testosterone that goes to my ovaries, affecting whether or not they would be able to develop an egg. She said a
low glycemic index diet would help my insulin resistance, balance out my hormones, and help me to ovulate regularly; And she was very happy to hear it was apart of my new plan.

She went down the list of my health issues (Lupus, RA, low thyroid, PCOS), and told me how amazing it was that I was able to lose weight, while having a number of things against me. That was a special moment for me. I felt very proud of myself for losing over 40 pounds, and not letting my health issues keep me from accomplishing my goals.

She took an ultrasound of my ovaries, and said they were "beautiful" My husband chuckled and told her that he always said I was beautiful inside and out. Ha. Ha. ;) She doesn't think I need to be put on Metformin, and wants to put me on Clomid, after I have my next period. Clomid will help me to ovulate more regularly. We will do that for 3 months, and if I'm not pregnant by then, we will talk about other fertility treatments we can do. She sounded pretty confident that the Clomid will do the trick. I'm excited for my next period to start, so we can start!

She talked to us for almost 2 hours. She answered every single question we had. She took the time to break down all my medical issues, and explained to us in laymen terms what they all meant, and how they can affect pregnancy. She is worried about my low thyroid and lupus, so she is going to set me up with one of the leading Rheumatologist/High Risk OBs in the United States!

It was a good appointment.
I left her office with a big smile on my face.

I was also reminded of my motto:
Eat Deliciously Healthy.
Be :Deliciously Healthy.

Some new healthy things I've been trying

The past couple days have been good, healthy, low glycemicy type of days. And no- "glycemicy" is not a word.

My main focus has been on
staying away from processed carbohydrates. It's actually been fairly easy. I have become label reading obsessed. And it's actually kinda fun. Give me a second to get over the fact that I just said that.

Here are a few new things I've tried:

Almond milk:By itself- no thank you.
In my cereal- yes please!
Fage yogurt with cherry:
With the Cherry it's delicious... but when that runs out.... no freakin' way. Gag.

Whole wheat tortillas:
I tried these a few years ago, and thought they were gross. But since my regular tortillas have processed carbohydrates in them, I reluctantly bought these again. They must have changed their recipe, because they were delish! It made for a very tasty turkey burrito tonight for dinner.
MMM...Let's go ahead and get the elephant out of the room- yes, I ate my dinner tonight on a paper towel, because all my plates were in the sink, dirty. My name is Brittany, and I'm a slacker. It's a miracle I even made dinner.

So far, so good.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to try a green monster smoothie for the first time.

Monday I have an appointment with my
fertility specialist. Last time she saw me I was 206 pounds. I'm excited to show her my new healthy lifestyle, and that I actually followed her orders, and lost weight! I'm also excited to get put on fertility meds.

Wish me luck!

Thank You. And My New Plan

First of all, I want to say "THANK YOU" for all of your comments, and emails on my last post.
I've been doing a lot of thinking over these past few days, as well as a lot of research on how PCOS, diets, and fertility, all tie together.

I've been having a feeling deep inside of me for a while now, telling me that I needed to eat clean. I got the sense that eating clean, would somehow help me to get pregnant. It was easy for me to laugh it off thinking the idea was ludicrous, because I didn't want to eat clean. So I've been ignoring this little voice in my head, hoping it would go away. But it's only getting louder. It's practically yelling at me now.... And what do you know, all the research I've been doing this weekend pretty much supports this voice in my head, telling me to eat clean. Nerds.

Here's a little bit of what I've learned:

A big part of the problem with PCOS is the high insulin resistance (you can read more about insulin resistance HERE). Resistance to insulin increases the body's insulin levels which effects normal ovulation, by preventing the body from ovulating or limiting the development process of the released egg. This has a direct affect on your fertility and ability to conceive. Many women with PCOS have difficulty losing weight, most likely due to high insulin levels promoting fat storage. The standard weight loss diet may not be the best approach for women with PCOS. High intakes of carbohydrates, especially refined carbohydrates (sweets, white bread, white rice...) will quickly turn to sugar and cause elevated levels of insulin. Since high levels of insulin can cause a number of problems for women with PCOS, a better diet would be a low glycemic index diet. This is a diet that includes foods or combinations of foods that do not cause a rapid rise in blood sugar. Eating a low glycemic diet will help to keep your insulin at a balanced level, thus increasing your fertility.

Here's what I gathered on the low glycemic index diet:

• Avoid white processed carbohydrates which cause a spike in your insulin levels and provide little fiber, or nutrients. Eat breads, grains and cereals that are as unprocessed as possible.
• Eat carbohydrates that are rich in fiber. The lower glycemic carbohydrates tend to have more fiber than the higher glycemic foods.
• Couple a protein with your carbohydrates. When you eat equal amounts of proteins and carbohydrates, it helps to keep your insulin at a balanced level.
• Get lots of fiber. Fiber helps by slowing down the digestion of sugars in the body, so there is no spike in insulin. It also helps by removing excess estrogen from the body, which may also help to reduce fibroids.
• Exercise! Exercise helps PCOS by improving your insulin sensitivity, and increasing your metabolism.

Every single article I've read, stresses the importance of staying away from processed foods if you have PCOS. So that's what I'm going to do. In moderation, lol. You know how I love my baking, and I'm going to have to squeeze that in there. I'm thinking twice a month I'm going to allow myself to bake up a deliciously healthy treat. I have an appointment scheduled to see my fertility specialist, to discuss my new plan with her.

I am going to carry my Deliciously Healthy motto into this low glycemic diet. I'm determined to make eating clean(er) DELICIOUS!

I've also realized that I'm not just on this weight loss journey so that I can get pregnant. I'm on it to improve my health, as I have PCOS, lupus, RA, and low thyroid. I want to live a
healthy life, and be the healthiest me I can be. And lets face it, I want to be a size 8 again.
Thank you again for all your support!
xoxo

What's been on my mind

Yesterday I pretty much spent the whole day in bed, cuddling with Moxie.I was feeling blue, and I just needed to take a time out. I've been in a little funk, and have had a bad week as far as my diet goes. My time in bed wasn't completely unproductive; I was able to figure out what's been bothering me...

I had tried to lose weight many, many times before I was finally successful. There was just never anything that REALLY motivated me enough to get the weight off. That was until I met with a fertility specialist, where she told me if I wanted to get pregnant, I HAD to lose weight.

That did the trick. I didn't want my weight and my love for fast-food to get in the way of any of my dreams, especially my dream of becoming a mother. A fire got lit under my butt, and I finally changed. I came up with my Deliciously Healthy motto and started this blog. I was so excited to lose weight, and be healthy so I could get pregnant. My desire to get pregnant helped me have the will power to turn down pizza, donuts, and everything else. I started having periods on my own, which was so exciting and comforting, as I didn't have them before due to my PCOS. Having regular periods was showing me that I was ovulating regularly, which would make getting pregnant easier. It was all due to my new healthy lifestyle. It was very rewarding, and I was optimistic that I would be a mother in no time. All this excitement made eating healthy a no brainier, and a piece of cake.

At this point, we weren't trying to get pregnant yet. I wanted to wait a few months so that I could actually lose some weight first. The excitement and anticipation of trying to get pregnant in the near future, made me work extra hard at losing weight. In July, we technically started trying, which was 6 months after I started losing weight. And that was when a whole lot of insecurity and doubt subconsciously entered my mind. We would try for 1 month, and then I would come up with some excuse to not try the next month. In the past 6 months of trying to get pregnant, I would say we've only actually tried 3 out of those 6 months. I've realized that I don't believe I'm going to get pregnant. It just seems too good to be true, and surreal. I'm scared to try to get pregnant, because I don't want to be let down. So, I've been stalling. Soon, the baby fever was becoming too much, and I decided that I was done letting fear and doubt get in our way. In the month of December, we were trying to get pregnant. My period started today, which shows me we obviously didn't get pregnant. Once again, I feel like it's just not going to happen. It's too good to be true. "I'm never going to get pregnant." If I believe it's never going to happen, then that takes away my main motivation to eat healthy and lose weight. Hence my lack of motivation these past couple days.

And that's pretty much where I sit today. My motivation is gone, because I have convinced myself that I am never going to get pregnant. Even though we have only tried for 4 months.
(Also note that I'm on my period, so I'm overly emotional about this...)

I haven't given up on my diet in any way. I've just hit a little bump. Also, we have family visiting right now, which isn't helping. My husband always wants to go to every restaurant in town when we have visitors. AND I'm on my period, so I want to eat more then usual. I've been doing my best to at least keep a balance.

It feels good to get that off my chest.
150's here I come!

Period Talk, Baby Talk, and My Weigh In.... :)

It's been a rough 3 weeks. I've been all out of whack, and pretty confused:

Around April 5th, I was all excited to see a little glimpse of Aunt Flow, and I was certain she was making an appearance. I had extremely light spotting (it wasn't even enough to call spotting... most people probably wouldn't have even noticed it, but me, being obsessed with the subject, and always checking to see if I got my monthly gift like an excited child on Christmas morning, I did spot it;). It didn't even last for a whole 2 days. What did last, were all the symptoms, minus the actual period.

For the past 3 weeks, I've been:
Tired, hungry, thirsty (way thirsty), crampy, emotional, gassy (shhh! I've been blaming it on the dog) and my bubbies have been ultra sensitive! Like ultra X 2.

It was all rather confusing.
Was I having a 3 week long period, minus the bleeding?
Could I be pregnant?Nope.

The digital pregnancy test was cheaper then the kind I normally buy (I'm sure I alone have made the pregnancy test people rich)
I stood in the pregnancy isle, (feeling like the entire store had stopped to look at me buying a pregnancy test), wondering if I should pay more, to have the less abrupt answer....

I can handle, one line or two, a plus or a negative. The digital pregnancy test on the other hand, is a little more... rude! It's either, "Pregnant", or "NOT Pregnant" In plain english.
Can't it say, "I'm sorry, you're not pregnant YET, but it'll happen :)"
I guess that would be hard to fit onto that little screen, huh?

Then, to make myself feel even more stupid, my period came the day after taking the test. Awesome.

I'm still a little confused, as I thought I had a period like 21 days ago (is that what they call a 21 day cycle???), and I'm not sure why I've had period symptoms ever since, but Aunt Flow is definitely here (and this time it's brutal. I need me some midol).

I still get very excited, when I have a period on my own. It just doesn't get old :) This month (maybe even twice this month?) my body did what it was supposed to! I feel like I'm curing myself of my PCOS, by simply living a Deliciously Healthy lifestyle! Since living healthy, I've had 4 periods!! Like totally all on my own! That makes me so happy!

Why does this make me happy?
Because May=The "official" start of trying to have a family!
AHHH! That gives me all sorts of butterflies!

With PCOS, you don't produce enough hormones to produce an egg.
No ovulation=no period.
Before, when I'd only have 1 or 2 periods a year, it meant I only ovulated 1-2 times a year. Kinda scary when you're wanting to start a family. Since living Deliciously Healthy, I've had
4 periods in 6 months!
Period=Ovulation!
Which is totally awesome news when you're about to start trying to get pregnant, in like a couple weeks!

I'm going to stay on my diet, until I get pregnant. After I get pregnant, my plan is to continue to eat healthy, so I can have a Deliciously Healthy pregnancy. I'm going to ask my fertility specialist if it's okay to be on a diet when trying to get pregnant. I don't think being on a diet is doing anything harmful to my body, that would prevent me from getting pregnant. I think being on a diet makes me healthier. I've also heard of lots of people getting pregnant while trying to lose weight... but I'm going to ask just to make sure.

I would like to be between 150-170 when I get pregnant.

What am I today? 178. Boo! I blame it on Thumbalina (my dog). Okay, okay... I blame it on Aunt Flow? How about my husband for taking me out on a date, and insisting that I order dessert? I mean the man would not give up! Whatever it is, or who's ever fault it is (mine. What?! Did I say that?), it needs to change. I have like what, 3 weeks to lose 8 pounds? That way if I get pregnant next month (Typing that caused massive butterflies. But who gets pregnant the first month of trying?), I'll be within my goal weight range.

I need to bump it up a notch or 2!

I'm going to cut out my little extra snacking, between snackings, and I'm going to get moving! My goal is to walk for 15-20 minutes (depending on my knees), twice a day. Hopefully that will give me the little extra boost I need!

This is all rather exciting!

Goals

Lately I've been realizing, that it's time to bump it up a notch, and it's time to set some goals.

To be honest, I think I've been a little afraid of setting goals for myself. Afraid of setting myself up for disappointment I guess. The only goal I've really set, is to weigh 120lbs...someday. I've come to the conclusion, that I NEED to set goals for my weight loss.

If you don't know what direction you're headed, how will you know where you'll end up, and how long it will take to get there? If you don't visualize it in your mind first, how can it ever become a reality? If you don't have specific goals you're working towards, how are you ever going to achieve anything?
I need to set goals for myself, so I have something to push myself towards. Setting goals for myself, gives me something to believe in. To believe that I will achieve the goals I set. The opportunity to set myself up for success!

So, I sat down, and stared to think of goals to set for myself. I sure did get a dose of reality, as I started to look at the numbers. I thought to myself, "this is why I haven't sat down to do this..." But it was needed, and I'm very happy I did it....even though it made me a little nervous :)

Here's the 411:

Joe and I are going to start trying to get pregnant in May. That's 3 months away (Yikes!). It's my goal to weigh 150 by then. That means I have to lose 44lbs, by the first week in May. Yeah. That's a big number. I pulled out the old calculator and calendar, and figured out that in order to reach that goal, I have to lose 5lbs a week for the next month, and then 3lbs a week from then, until the first week in may. With my PCOS, we are going to have to get fertility treatments, to get pregnant. The first step is for me to take a pill, that will hopefully get me to ovulate. My husband and I have decided that for the first couple months, we want to try without any fertility treatments. So, I feel like we're really not trying until July, as that's when I get put on the ovulation pill. I'm going to stay on my diet, until I get pregnant, and once I do get preggers, I'm going to keep watching what I eat. I'm hoping that I will weigh 130 by July, if I'm not already pregnant by then.

Let me lay it out again for ya:

*Feb 5th-March 5th, Lose 5lbs a week, or 2olbs for the month.
*March 5th-April 5th, lose 3lbs a week, or 12lbs for the month.
*April 5th-May 5th, lose 3lbs a week, or 12lbs for the month.
*By the first week in May, weigh 150 pounds.
*From May-June, lose 2.5lbs a week, or 10lbs for the month.
*From June-July, lose 2.5lbs a week, or 10lbs for the month.
*By the first week in July, weigh 130 pounds.

Also, Remember THIS dress? Well, my husband is graduating with his bachelors degree April 1st, and I want to wear it to the graduation:When I bought it, I weighed 185. I remember thinking that I could probably wear it if I lost 15-20lbs. If I stick to my goals, by April I should weigh around 160, so I should be able to wear the dress!

Obviously losing 2lbs, every 3 weeks, isn't going to cut it. I'm glad I sat down to crunch the numbers, because it lit a much needed fire under my tush! It's definitely time to bump it up a notch! Over the next few days, I'm going to research places that have pools, so I can start doing laps. I think it will be a very good workout, and will work well with my RA. Hopefully by next week, I'll be in the pool, burning some calories!

A part of me thinks these goals are too unrealistic.
What do you think?

On a side note:

This morning I peeked at the scale, and I weighed 194! That means I'm down .5lbs!

I was going to post a recipe on this post, but now I don't have time. Hopefully I can post it tonight. Stay tuned, because it's totally yummy!

Wish me luck!... I think I'm gonna need it! ;)