Let the fun begin

Tomorrow I start taking Clomid; a fertility drug to help stimulate my ovaries. Sounds exciting ;)I have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us. Whatever will be, will be.
But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will bring a little bundle of joy into our lives soon :)

Fertility Appointment

Today was my fertility appointment.May I just say that I LOVE my fertility doctor.
A lot.

One of the first things she mentioned was my weight loss. She was very happy, and proud of me. She told me that losing weight had no doubt helped my PCOS, and that my regular period cycles were proving that. She talked about insulin resistance, and how it directly effects the amount of testosterone that goes to my ovaries, affecting whether or not they would be able to develop an egg. She said a
low glycemic index diet would help my insulin resistance, balance out my hormones, and help me to ovulate regularly; And she was very happy to hear it was apart of my new plan.

She went down the list of my health issues (Lupus, RA, low thyroid, PCOS), and told me how amazing it was that I was able to lose weight, while having a number of things against me. That was a special moment for me. I felt very proud of myself for losing over 40 pounds, and not letting my health issues keep me from accomplishing my goals.

She took an ultrasound of my ovaries, and said they were "beautiful" My husband chuckled and told her that he always said I was beautiful inside and out. Ha. Ha. ;) She doesn't think I need to be put on Metformin, and wants to put me on Clomid, after I have my next period. Clomid will help me to ovulate more regularly. We will do that for 3 months, and if I'm not pregnant by then, we will talk about other fertility treatments we can do. She sounded pretty confident that the Clomid will do the trick. I'm excited for my next period to start, so we can start!

She talked to us for almost 2 hours. She answered every single question we had. She took the time to break down all my medical issues, and explained to us in laymen terms what they all meant, and how they can affect pregnancy. She is worried about my low thyroid and lupus, so she is going to set me up with one of the leading Rheumatologist/High Risk OBs in the United States!

It was a good appointment.
I left her office with a big smile on my face.

I was also reminded of my motto:
Eat Deliciously Healthy.
Be :Deliciously Healthy.

Thank You. And My New Plan

First of all, I want to say "THANK YOU" for all of your comments, and emails on my last post.
I've been doing a lot of thinking over these past few days, as well as a lot of research on how PCOS, diets, and fertility, all tie together.

I've been having a feeling deep inside of me for a while now, telling me that I needed to eat clean. I got the sense that eating clean, would somehow help me to get pregnant. It was easy for me to laugh it off thinking the idea was ludicrous, because I didn't want to eat clean. So I've been ignoring this little voice in my head, hoping it would go away. But it's only getting louder. It's practically yelling at me now.... And what do you know, all the research I've been doing this weekend pretty much supports this voice in my head, telling me to eat clean. Nerds.

Here's a little bit of what I've learned:

A big part of the problem with PCOS is the high insulin resistance (you can read more about insulin resistance HERE). Resistance to insulin increases the body's insulin levels which effects normal ovulation, by preventing the body from ovulating or limiting the development process of the released egg. This has a direct affect on your fertility and ability to conceive. Many women with PCOS have difficulty losing weight, most likely due to high insulin levels promoting fat storage. The standard weight loss diet may not be the best approach for women with PCOS. High intakes of carbohydrates, especially refined carbohydrates (sweets, white bread, white rice...) will quickly turn to sugar and cause elevated levels of insulin. Since high levels of insulin can cause a number of problems for women with PCOS, a better diet would be a low glycemic index diet. This is a diet that includes foods or combinations of foods that do not cause a rapid rise in blood sugar. Eating a low glycemic diet will help to keep your insulin at a balanced level, thus increasing your fertility.

Here's what I gathered on the low glycemic index diet:

• Avoid white processed carbohydrates which cause a spike in your insulin levels and provide little fiber, or nutrients. Eat breads, grains and cereals that are as unprocessed as possible.
• Eat carbohydrates that are rich in fiber. The lower glycemic carbohydrates tend to have more fiber than the higher glycemic foods.
• Couple a protein with your carbohydrates. When you eat equal amounts of proteins and carbohydrates, it helps to keep your insulin at a balanced level.
• Get lots of fiber. Fiber helps by slowing down the digestion of sugars in the body, so there is no spike in insulin. It also helps by removing excess estrogen from the body, which may also help to reduce fibroids.
• Exercise! Exercise helps PCOS by improving your insulin sensitivity, and increasing your metabolism.

Every single article I've read, stresses the importance of staying away from processed foods if you have PCOS. So that's what I'm going to do. In moderation, lol. You know how I love my baking, and I'm going to have to squeeze that in there. I'm thinking twice a month I'm going to allow myself to bake up a deliciously healthy treat. I have an appointment scheduled to see my fertility specialist, to discuss my new plan with her.

I am going to carry my Deliciously Healthy motto into this low glycemic diet. I'm determined to make eating clean(er) DELICIOUS!

I've also realized that I'm not just on this weight loss journey so that I can get pregnant. I'm on it to improve my health, as I have PCOS, lupus, RA, and low thyroid. I want to live a
healthy life, and be the healthiest me I can be. And lets face it, I want to be a size 8 again.
Thank you again for all your support!
xoxo

What's been on my mind

Yesterday I pretty much spent the whole day in bed, cuddling with Moxie.I was feeling blue, and I just needed to take a time out. I've been in a little funk, and have had a bad week as far as my diet goes. My time in bed wasn't completely unproductive; I was able to figure out what's been bothering me...

I had tried to lose weight many, many times before I was finally successful. There was just never anything that REALLY motivated me enough to get the weight off. That was until I met with a fertility specialist, where she told me if I wanted to get pregnant, I HAD to lose weight.

That did the trick. I didn't want my weight and my love for fast-food to get in the way of any of my dreams, especially my dream of becoming a mother. A fire got lit under my butt, and I finally changed. I came up with my Deliciously Healthy motto and started this blog. I was so excited to lose weight, and be healthy so I could get pregnant. My desire to get pregnant helped me have the will power to turn down pizza, donuts, and everything else. I started having periods on my own, which was so exciting and comforting, as I didn't have them before due to my PCOS. Having regular periods was showing me that I was ovulating regularly, which would make getting pregnant easier. It was all due to my new healthy lifestyle. It was very rewarding, and I was optimistic that I would be a mother in no time. All this excitement made eating healthy a no brainier, and a piece of cake.

At this point, we weren't trying to get pregnant yet. I wanted to wait a few months so that I could actually lose some weight first. The excitement and anticipation of trying to get pregnant in the near future, made me work extra hard at losing weight. In July, we technically started trying, which was 6 months after I started losing weight. And that was when a whole lot of insecurity and doubt subconsciously entered my mind. We would try for 1 month, and then I would come up with some excuse to not try the next month. In the past 6 months of trying to get pregnant, I would say we've only actually tried 3 out of those 6 months. I've realized that I don't believe I'm going to get pregnant. It just seems too good to be true, and surreal. I'm scared to try to get pregnant, because I don't want to be let down. So, I've been stalling. Soon, the baby fever was becoming too much, and I decided that I was done letting fear and doubt get in our way. In the month of December, we were trying to get pregnant. My period started today, which shows me we obviously didn't get pregnant. Once again, I feel like it's just not going to happen. It's too good to be true. "I'm never going to get pregnant." If I believe it's never going to happen, then that takes away my main motivation to eat healthy and lose weight. Hence my lack of motivation these past couple days.

And that's pretty much where I sit today. My motivation is gone, because I have convinced myself that I am never going to get pregnant. Even though we have only tried for 4 months.
(Also note that I'm on my period, so I'm overly emotional about this...)

I haven't given up on my diet in any way. I've just hit a little bump. Also, we have family visiting right now, which isn't helping. My husband always wants to go to every restaurant in town when we have visitors. AND I'm on my period, so I want to eat more then usual. I've been doing my best to at least keep a balance.

It feels good to get that off my chest.
150's here I come!

Period Talk, Baby Talk, and My Weigh In.... :)

It's been a rough 3 weeks. I've been all out of whack, and pretty confused:

Around April 5th, I was all excited to see a little glimpse of Aunt Flow, and I was certain she was making an appearance. I had extremely light spotting (it wasn't even enough to call spotting... most people probably wouldn't have even noticed it, but me, being obsessed with the subject, and always checking to see if I got my monthly gift like an excited child on Christmas morning, I did spot it;). It didn't even last for a whole 2 days. What did last, were all the symptoms, minus the actual period.

For the past 3 weeks, I've been:
Tired, hungry, thirsty (way thirsty), crampy, emotional, gassy (shhh! I've been blaming it on the dog) and my bubbies have been ultra sensitive! Like ultra X 2.

It was all rather confusing.
Was I having a 3 week long period, minus the bleeding?
Could I be pregnant?Nope.

The digital pregnancy test was cheaper then the kind I normally buy (I'm sure I alone have made the pregnancy test people rich)
I stood in the pregnancy isle, (feeling like the entire store had stopped to look at me buying a pregnancy test), wondering if I should pay more, to have the less abrupt answer....

I can handle, one line or two, a plus or a negative. The digital pregnancy test on the other hand, is a little more... rude! It's either, "Pregnant", or "NOT Pregnant" In plain english.
Can't it say, "I'm sorry, you're not pregnant YET, but it'll happen :)"
I guess that would be hard to fit onto that little screen, huh?

Then, to make myself feel even more stupid, my period came the day after taking the test. Awesome.

I'm still a little confused, as I thought I had a period like 21 days ago (is that what they call a 21 day cycle???), and I'm not sure why I've had period symptoms ever since, but Aunt Flow is definitely here (and this time it's brutal. I need me some midol).

I still get very excited, when I have a period on my own. It just doesn't get old :) This month (maybe even twice this month?) my body did what it was supposed to! I feel like I'm curing myself of my PCOS, by simply living a Deliciously Healthy lifestyle! Since living healthy, I've had 4 periods!! Like totally all on my own! That makes me so happy!

Why does this make me happy?
Because May=The "official" start of trying to have a family!
AHHH! That gives me all sorts of butterflies!

With PCOS, you don't produce enough hormones to produce an egg.
No ovulation=no period.
Before, when I'd only have 1 or 2 periods a year, it meant I only ovulated 1-2 times a year. Kinda scary when you're wanting to start a family. Since living Deliciously Healthy, I've had
4 periods in 6 months!
Period=Ovulation!
Which is totally awesome news when you're about to start trying to get pregnant, in like a couple weeks!

I'm going to stay on my diet, until I get pregnant. After I get pregnant, my plan is to continue to eat healthy, so I can have a Deliciously Healthy pregnancy. I'm going to ask my fertility specialist if it's okay to be on a diet when trying to get pregnant. I don't think being on a diet is doing anything harmful to my body, that would prevent me from getting pregnant. I think being on a diet makes me healthier. I've also heard of lots of people getting pregnant while trying to lose weight... but I'm going to ask just to make sure.

I would like to be between 150-170 when I get pregnant.

What am I today? 178. Boo! I blame it on Thumbalina (my dog). Okay, okay... I blame it on Aunt Flow? How about my husband for taking me out on a date, and insisting that I order dessert? I mean the man would not give up! Whatever it is, or who's ever fault it is (mine. What?! Did I say that?), it needs to change. I have like what, 3 weeks to lose 8 pounds? That way if I get pregnant next month (Typing that caused massive butterflies. But who gets pregnant the first month of trying?), I'll be within my goal weight range.

I need to bump it up a notch or 2!

I'm going to cut out my little extra snacking, between snackings, and I'm going to get moving! My goal is to walk for 15-20 minutes (depending on my knees), twice a day. Hopefully that will give me the little extra boost I need!

This is all rather exciting!

I've Got Some Good News, and Some Bad

I always like to start with the bad, so the good news can cheer me up at the end (in case you were wondering;)

So, here's the bad news:
Today was weigh in day. Period. Need I say more? lol.
I walked into the bathroom this morning, smiling at the scale trying to soften it up a bit, stepped onto it, ever so lightly (like it was going to make a difference), and waited for what seemed like forever for the numbers to appear. When they did, they read, "194" (annoyed sigh)
I'm down .5 pounds from last weeks weigh in, which I already new from my sneak peek weigh in a few days ago. If I had a window in my bathroom, I assure you the scale would have gone flying right through it! Luckily for the scale, and the people walking their dogs on the path behind our house, we don't have a window in our bathroom....

Now here's the good news:
I got my monthly gift this month!!! I almost cried tears of joy! Most of you are probably wondering why on earth a women would be happy for this time of the month?!

Let me explain (TMI warning;):
It showed me that this month, my body worked the way it was supposed to! I rarely ever have periods on my own! Sometimes they have to be induced, so that my uterus can shed (apparently you can get cancer if it goes a while without shedding). When I do have them on my own, it's only 1 or 2 times a year! I wasn't really worried about this for a long time, and was actually kinda glad that I didn't have to go through PMS every month. But, now that we're so close to trying to get pregnant, the whole not having periods thing was making me nervous. Like sweating bullets kind of nervous.

No period=No ovulation. No ovulation=Inability to get pregnant on our own. Inability to get pregnant on our own=MONEY. Potentially lots of money to get pregnant. Running out of money=Not having children of our own.

Where as a Period=Ovulation! Ovulation=Getting pregnant the good old natural way!

My PCOS specialist told me that losing weight could possibly allow my body to ovulate on it's own. She explained that she had lots of overweight patients with PCOS, who after losing weight were able to get pregnant as easy as 1, 2, 3. They were able to skip pills and procedures, and conceive a baby, simply by living a healthier lifestyle. She URGED me to go on a diet, saying that it could be the key to getting pregnant.
It lit a fire under my tush, and I went on a diet.

In November, I went on a diet and lost 16 pounds. What do you know, I had a cycle that month. I wasn't too excited over it, because I thought it was just another random cycle, and I wouldn't see it again for 6, 9, or even 12 months. But, it's February, and here it is again. Is it coincidence that both times I've gotten my monthly gift, I've been on a diet? I THINK NOT! What do you know, my doctor was right. If this continues, we may not go broke while trying to have a precious little baby.

Today showed me 2 things:

1. Having my cycle this month may be the reason I haven't seen the scale budge, and if that's the the case, I'll take it with a smile in my face.

2. It really isn't ALL about the numbers. Yes, they are a big part of it, especially the mental part, but they aren't everything. Having a cycle showed me that my body is changing. My body is becoming much healthier, and is able to function the way it should.
That makes me happy.
It reminds me of my motto:

Eat Deliciously Healthy. Be :Deliciously Healthy.

And that I am
And so are you! :D

Goals

Lately I've been realizing, that it's time to bump it up a notch, and it's time to set some goals.

To be honest, I think I've been a little afraid of setting goals for myself. Afraid of setting myself up for disappointment I guess. The only goal I've really set, is to weigh 120lbs...someday. I've come to the conclusion, that I NEED to set goals for my weight loss.

If you don't know what direction you're headed, how will you know where you'll end up, and how long it will take to get there? If you don't visualize it in your mind first, how can it ever become a reality? If you don't have specific goals you're working towards, how are you ever going to achieve anything?
I need to set goals for myself, so I have something to push myself towards. Setting goals for myself, gives me something to believe in. To believe that I will achieve the goals I set. The opportunity to set myself up for success!

So, I sat down, and stared to think of goals to set for myself. I sure did get a dose of reality, as I started to look at the numbers. I thought to myself, "this is why I haven't sat down to do this..." But it was needed, and I'm very happy I did it....even though it made me a little nervous :)

Here's the 411:

Joe and I are going to start trying to get pregnant in May. That's 3 months away (Yikes!). It's my goal to weigh 150 by then. That means I have to lose 44lbs, by the first week in May. Yeah. That's a big number. I pulled out the old calculator and calendar, and figured out that in order to reach that goal, I have to lose 5lbs a week for the next month, and then 3lbs a week from then, until the first week in may. With my PCOS, we are going to have to get fertility treatments, to get pregnant. The first step is for me to take a pill, that will hopefully get me to ovulate. My husband and I have decided that for the first couple months, we want to try without any fertility treatments. So, I feel like we're really not trying until July, as that's when I get put on the ovulation pill. I'm going to stay on my diet, until I get pregnant, and once I do get preggers, I'm going to keep watching what I eat. I'm hoping that I will weigh 130 by July, if I'm not already pregnant by then.

Let me lay it out again for ya:

*Feb 5th-March 5th, Lose 5lbs a week, or 2olbs for the month.
*March 5th-April 5th, lose 3lbs a week, or 12lbs for the month.
*April 5th-May 5th, lose 3lbs a week, or 12lbs for the month.
*By the first week in May, weigh 150 pounds.
*From May-June, lose 2.5lbs a week, or 10lbs for the month.
*From June-July, lose 2.5lbs a week, or 10lbs for the month.
*By the first week in July, weigh 130 pounds.

Also, Remember THIS dress? Well, my husband is graduating with his bachelors degree April 1st, and I want to wear it to the graduation:When I bought it, I weighed 185. I remember thinking that I could probably wear it if I lost 15-20lbs. If I stick to my goals, by April I should weigh around 160, so I should be able to wear the dress!

Obviously losing 2lbs, every 3 weeks, isn't going to cut it. I'm glad I sat down to crunch the numbers, because it lit a much needed fire under my tush! It's definitely time to bump it up a notch! Over the next few days, I'm going to research places that have pools, so I can start doing laps. I think it will be a very good workout, and will work well with my RA. Hopefully by next week, I'll be in the pool, burning some calories!

A part of me thinks these goals are too unrealistic.
What do you think?

On a side note:

This morning I peeked at the scale, and I weighed 194! That means I'm down .5lbs!

I was going to post a recipe on this post, but now I don't have time. Hopefully I can post it tonight. Stay tuned, because it's totally yummy!

Wish me luck!... I think I'm gonna need it! ;)