Wednesday

I am rereading Transparency by John Kim - otherwise known as: The Angry Therapist.



This time I am taking notes.  I want it to sink deep.

My sister K is reading his work too now.  I turned her onto it and I think she likes the writing as much as I do.

"Self help in a shot glass" is what Mr. Kim offers.  I like his style a lot.  No sap, no frills.

His method for clearer thinking and therefore, better quality of life is divided into three parts:
1. Transparency
2. Stance
3. Container

I am ready to talk about the first two.

Transparency is...
Finding my voice, being the truest version of myself, all the time.
Fighting my false self.
Living in how I feel instead of how I think - getting out of my own head, breaking the negative thought broken record.
Focusing on the here and now. Be present. Take in life before live takes me in.  Use my senses.
Not seeking approval.
Going with my gut.
Enjoying the process, good or bad (not just living for the future).
Letting go of things and situations, no more ownership.
Opening up and sharing my story.  Bonding.

Ways to live my truth in every moment:
1. Be myself at work. Speak up, be creative and have fun.
2. Relax around Violet and let us just BE.
3. Engage even when I feel shy in social situations.
4. Let my off-beat style, messy hair and crazy diet shine.
5. Willingly go out of my comfort zone.

Times when I will live outside my own head:
1. In the car.
2. While cooking.
3. When I feel sad or hopeless or alone.
4. When I hear or see something I cannot control.
5. After a disagreement.

Ways I will live in healthy time:
1. Singing in my car (always do!).
2. Dance with Violet more often (do that too).
3. Get outside, go running, be brave when I am alone outside.
4. Being more social.
5. Reach out and engage with someone that I love and miss.

The things in my life that I don't own and will gladly return now:
1. Other people's anger.
2. Other people's expectations (My Father's most importantly).
3. The bad parts of my childhood.
4. Failed romances.
5. Lost chances.

What have I learned from this list that I am returning:
1. That I need to let so many things go so I can move on.
2. Some people have too much influence on how I feel about myself.
3. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to relationships.
4. I have far too much regret for things left unfinished.
5. I have a heavy heart but a good one.  I make mistakes but I am still worthy of happiness.


Stance is...
What defines my character.
My "non-negotiables".
The understanding that work does not define who I am.
Taking back what I've lost - unlocking my code.
Being aware of my bright spots and stretching them.
Retraining my brain to be aware of the little things.
Being heard.

Non Negotiables:
1. My time with Violet.
2. How I feel about her.  How I love her.  How I raise her.  She will always come first.
3. My love for animals.
4. My diet.
5. My quest for a healthy life.

The things I wish to take back in my life:
1. Yoga!
2. My dreams of going back to school.
3. My own bedtime.
4. My free time.
5. Going out with friends more often.  Making plans.

My bright spots:
1. Owen kitty.
2. Violet bug (well duh!).
3. My loving family.
4. Being outside, smelling the beauteous air, feeling the warm sun.
5. The invigorative stretch of a yoga routine.

NEXT up is Container, the last piece of the puzzle.  To be continued...