The battle

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted.
I honestly have no idea what the heck happened to the time. At one point, I thought it had been a week since I last posted, but when I looked at my blog, I realized it had been two! Then I spent this past week with writers block. And here I still sit with it. So I'm going to push through it, and just type.

Do you know what goes through my mind as soon as my eyes open in the morning? My diet. My weight. Fertility, and trying to get pregnant while also trying to lose weight. It's also what's going through my mind as I fall asleep at night. Come to think of it, I'm constantly thinking about it. I am so sick of it! I'm tired of thinking about it.

I hate that it's easy one day, and seemingly impossible the next day. I hate that I couldn't have just stayed skinny after I got married. I hate my stretch marks, and what I've done to my body. I hate that it's been 1 1/2 years, and I've only lost 45 pounds in that time. I hate that I waisted half of that 1 1/2 years not being fully committed. I could have made it to my goal weight during that time, if I had really given it all I had, 100% of the time; and I hate that. I hate trying to lose weight, while trying to get pregnant. One half of me wants to roll my sleeves up, and kick some serious weight loss butt. I want to give it all I've got, and lose my last 40 pounds in 6 months. That half of me is secretly hoping I don't get pregnant that month, so I can lose more weight. The other half of me wants to get pregnant. This month. I want to be a mother, and I'm tired of waiting. The two halves totally contradict each other, and sabotage one another. When I'm thinking about my weight loss, the thought actually crosses my mind to put trying to get pregnant aside for 6 months, so I can lose the rest of my weight. But when I'm favoring the baby side, all I can think about is how excited I am to be a mother, and I absolutely hate myself for ever thinking about putting getting pregnant on hold. I hate this fertility/weight loss battle that is constantly going on in my head.

So that's what's going on with me. I'm trying to figure out which I want more: Getting to my goal weight, or getting pregnant. I want them both...

A :Deliciously Healthy date night.

This past weekend, Joe and I went on a dinner/movie date, to see Thor. Who knew Thor was such a hunk?
That's some 6' 3" muscly goodness right there.
Any way. back to what I was saying....

First, we went to one of our favorite restaurants, Jim-N-Nicks.
I usually sneak in a Dr. Pepper, and a couple cheesy muffins while we're there. They are free after all... But this time I ordered a water with lemon, and told my husband to slap my hand if it started creeping over to the bread basket. Luckily, he didn't have to. That might have been embarrassing.

After our movie, we took a little stroll around the outdoor mall.
And that meant we had to pass the Cold Stone.
You can smell the sugar coming out of that place... and I love it! But that's bad. Very, very bad. I shouldn't love it. I should stay away from it. Far, far away. And that's exactly what I did. I even passed up this Cold Stone sign, that made me drool. You can probably see me drooling in the reflection.

Just a few steps past the cold stone, we saw Menchie's, a frozen yogurt restaurant.:
We had never been there, so we thought we'd be adventurous and check it out. Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a self serve frozen yogurt joint, where you can choose you're own yogurt, and your own toppings! I took a couple walk throughs to soak in all the flavors and toppings, before I made my decision. Then I tried to make the best decision possible. I wanted to get chocolate frozen yogurt, with brownies, nuts, marshmallow topping with fudge and caramel.
But instead, I resisted the temptation, and got this:
Chocolate and vanilla swirl, mini dark chocolate chips, coconut, strawberries, and low-fat sugar free fudge. Plus, I exercised moderation on everything. It ended up being just the right amount.

Delish!
Way better then Cold Stone, if you ask me. And a lot nicer on your girlish figure ;)

You should check to see if they have one near YOU. And if they do, you should go. Right now.
And if they don't, just be patient. They are coming soon, to 22 new states!

I heart date nights. Especially when they're :Deliciously HealthyWhat's your date night temptation?
What's your idea of a healthy date night?
Have you ever been to Menchie's?

The truth about "healthy" fast food options

I self admittedly go to a fast food restaurant about two times a week.
Sometimes you just need, well, fast food.

Luckily for me, most fast food chains had "healthy" options available. Or so I thought...
Today I took a deeper look.
Brace yourself...

I usually go to Chick-Fil-A to get either a chargrilled chicken sandwich, or a Cesar wrap:
Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich:
Calories: 290. Not shabby at all. That's why I got it. But there's more...
Total fat: 4g
Sodium: 1030. That's the kicker.

Cesar Wrap:
Calories: 460
Total fat: 15
Saturated fat: 6
Sodium: 1510. YIKES!

Healthy choice --> I'd say skip those two, and go for one of Chick-Fil-A salads:

Chargrilled fruit salad:
Calories: 290
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 4
Sodium: 640

Chargrilled chicken garden salad:
Calories: 180
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 4
Sodium: 650

One of the saddest things I found out about Chick-Fil-A?
The stats on their yummy fruit parfait:

Fruit Parfait with granola:
Calories: 290
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 2
Sugar: 39!! I'm like, whoa.

Next up, I checked out some of McDonald's info:I've been hearing a lot about their new oatmeal... I've also heard it has a ton of sugar in it. So I investigated:

Fruit and maple oatmeal:
Calories: 290
Carbohydrates: 57
Total fat: 4.5
Sugar: 32! Remember that a snickers bar has 28 grams of sugar. Insane.

In complete shock, I looked up my next favorite fast-food joint, Wendy's:
My favorite salad, the apple pecan salad:
Calories: 580
Total fat: 27
Saturated fat: 9
Sugar: (brace yourself) 39! For a salad. I triple checked.

Baja Salad:
Calories: 740
Total fat: 47. Straight up crazy.
Saturated fat: 17.

And here I thought I was doing a good thing by getting a salad.
A big-mac's stats are better then that salad!:
Big-Mac:
Calories: 540
Total fat: 29

Salad? Or Big-Mac? I think I'll go with the big-mac.

Healthy choice --> Next time you're at Wendy's, skip the salads, and opt for one of the following:

Baked potato with sour cream and chives:
Calories: 320
Total fat: 4
saturated fat: 2

Chili:
Calories: 220
Total fat: 7
saturated fat: 3
Protein: 18 :)

I thought I was doing good by getting things that seemed healthier then what I really wanted to get (#1 with extra cheese), but now I see how far off I really was. It's all a gimmick if you ask me.

With all that sodium, fat, and sugar, no wonder why the scale wasn't moving!

When I was finally able to pick my jaw up off the floor, I came to this conclusion:
It's honestly best to stay away from fast food all together. Even the "low calorie" items are packed with things that can hinder your weight loss efforts. Pack healthy snacks in your purse instead, to help you stay away from that tempting drive-thru.

Clomid and prenatal vitamins

There are pros and cons to trying to get pregnant.

Pro: Prenatal vitamins. (these are my favorite so far.)

These vitamins are like Miracle Grow for your hair and nails. I cut my hair short back in November, and it's already almost the length it was before I cut it! The time before last, it took my hair 2 stinckin' years to get back to it's previous length! So naturally, it makes me want to cut my hair short again. If it's going to grow back this fast, why not?

I think I'm going to take prenatal vitamins for the rest of my life. That's not bad, is it? ;)

Con: Clomid.(Can I have cruddier photos? No. I can not.)

This is the first month that I'm on the right dosage of Clomid. As you can see, I've taken all my little pills ;) So far it hasn't been as bad as some of the horror stories I've heard... but it's not a walk in the park either.

I've gotten quite a few emails asking me how the Clomid is working, and what the symptoms of Clomid have been, so I thought I would list them for you:

• Emotional. If the Pampers, and various different cancer commercials didn't make me cry before, they do now. This has resulted in me being ultra clingy to my honey bunny baby bear (that's the Clomid talking;). I need a hug from him like every 10 minutes.
• Bloated. Since I'm not weighing myself, I count on the way I feel, and how my clothes fit, to tell me how I'm doing. Right now I feel like I've gained 5-10 pounds. I've been good, so that shouldn't be the case.
• Menstrual cramps. I don't think I need to explain how much those suck.
• Small Pimples on my forehead. I need to get some Proactive.
  
• Muscle cramps. Since I was younger, I've been getting muscle cramps in my legs. You know that pain you have when you get on the floor, put your legs out in front of you, and try to touch your toes? (that question is for the non-limber folk;) Well it's that same exact pain, only constant. When I was younger they told me they were growing pains. They never went away, but as I got older, they only came when it was that time of the month. Since I've started the Clomid, I've gotten them every night :/

In a nutshell, taking Clomid is a lot like PMS.
If it works, it will all be worth it.

Moral of the story:
I'm an emotional girl with long hair.

Are you a vitamin taker?

If you would like to share you experience with clomid, you're welcome to leave it in the comments. I have lots of readers who would like to know more :D

What's inside my Easter basket?

Instead of eating a basket full of Peep's, Cadbury eggs, chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, and egg shaped Reese's and snickers bars this Easter, I thought I'd pick just one Easter sweet to enjoy.

I thought about it for a few days. I wanted to be sure I picked the right one. The one that would hit that Easter sweet tooth just right.

In the end, it was the chocolate Easter bunny that stole my heart. I just couldn't resist it's candy eyes, and those hollow milk chocolate bunny ears.I shared it with my hubby. I love him that much ;)
If you had to choose just one Easter treat, which would you choose?

Happy Easter!

I Know that my Redeemer lives.

The truth about artificial sweeteners

I saw this incredibly informative video on FaceBook. Gotta love FB.

What makes this video so awesome, is that it breaks down all the chemicals in sugar substitutes. It explains what those chemicals actually are, and what they do to our bodies. Chemicals like aspartame, acetone, methanol, among others:

What did I get from this video? Oh, just that artificial sweeteners are basically just sugar with chlorine, nail polish remover, gasoline, windshield washer fluid, and formaldehyde in it. Sweet (pun not intended, but welcomed:).

It's amazing to me how many "diet" cook books include these artificial sweeteners.

And I can't believe how much diet Dr. Pepper I used to drink. It's crazy.

Here are Dr. Freedmen's picks for the 3 best sweeteners:

***
A couple weeks ago we decided to put a patio in the backyard. When the patio was finally done, we realized they had made a ton of mistakes. Now they're having to tare it out, and do it again. When it is all said and done, it will have taken them almost 2 weeks from start to finish. That's 2 weeks of not being able to let the dogs out back to do their business. That equals a ton of walking for moi. I've had to take them on a walk 4-6 times a day. sigh.

Moral of the story: putting in a patio is the best thing to ever happen to my diet and exercise plan.

Free

It's been a while since I stepped onto the scale.

I was never the kind of person who would step on the scale multiple times a day. When I first started on this weight loss journey, I would only weigh myself once a week. Then that became twice a week, and eventually, I weighed myself every morning. Soon, the scale and I developed a bad relationship. It was so discouraging to see that all my hard work, was only giving me a 1 pound loss each week. Doubt would set in as soon as I stepped on the scale, and last with me until I fell asleep that night. It's always been my goal to be 150 pounds when we get pregnant. Every morning I stepped on the scale, that goal seemed so far out of reach. I would spend the entire day subconsciously trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and what I was doing wrong. I would try to figure out what I could do to get to 150lbs before we got pregnant, and always getting discouraged when the weight didn't come off quickly enough for me to get to my goal. That discouragement would always lead me into a day or two of bad eating, which of course resulted in me gaining back the pound I had lost. Then I finally realized that 1 pound a week is great. It is a heck of a lot better then zero! So, I ditched the scale.

I am starting to realize what a huge burden it was on me, to obsess about the scale everyday. I suddenly feel freer. Happier. Since I'm not spending as much energy thinking about the scale, my weight, and how slow it's coming off, I suddenly have more energy to go to the gym. To go grocery shopping, to cook, to clean... to live life. I simply feel good about myself when I eat deliciously healthy, and stay on track. It's nice to not step on the scale, and have it take those good feelings away from me. I am living a healthy life for me. Not the scale. I choose to eat healthy, workout, take my vitamins, and drink lots of water, because I love myself, and I want to be healthy. Not because I am trying to lose X amount of weight each week.

It feels like a breath of fresh air, and it makes me happy.
P.S. At my doctor appointment this past Wednesday, my doctor looked at my chart, and said "Oh, you've lost weight since your last appointment!" Luckily she didn't say how much, because I don't know how that would have affected me. But at least I know that it's working, and that I can be successful without the scale.