Today...

Today I was craving a steak. Which is hilarious, because I hate steak. I'm a chicken and turkey kinda girl. So, when I told my husband about today's craving, he looked at me weird, grabbed his keys, and took me to go get steak. It was good. Really good. I'm not sure how bad steak is for a diet? But it's not like it was smothered in cheese and butter, so it can't be too bad. Plus I didn't order soda. And...It doubled as my lunch and dinner, so that helps :)

Today I resisted the urge to buy a tub of chocolate frosting at the store. I used to buy one of these, and eat it plain, by the spoon full. I had a brief flash of me doing just that, as my eye spotted it in the store. But, I continued walking. Well, after I took a picture of course :)

Today I had a blast making peach jam with a friend. Peaches are on sale at Sprouts this week for 49 cents a pound! I bought 40 peaches for 4 dollars and something cents. How awesome is that? I used THIS recipe. It calls for 4 1/2 cups of sugar, but I only used 2 cups. I haven't tried it yet, but my friend had already made a batch using 2 cups of sugar, and she said it tasted great. I can't wait to try it on a piece of toast in the morning!
And I will end this fabulous day, by watching Seinfeld with my hubby. Where I will probably say out loud, "Don't listen to Kramer!"...or George for that matter :)

What's your favorite kind of jam?

Have you ever made jam before?

A sweet gesture, that went straight to my hips.

A marriage is:
Holding hands and flirting on Friday night dates.
Getting hit with an elbow at 3 am.
Texts with "I love you"s and, "Can you pick up eggs?"
Arguing over what movie to watch.
Playing Rock. Paper. Scissors. to decide who cleans up after dinner.
Saying cheesy things like, "I struck the lottery, the day I married you"
And buying roses for your wife, after an argument.

The roses were sweet. They brought a smile to my face, as I thought to myself, "How could I ever stay mad at this guy?" But then he pulled out the box of chocolates. One half of my brain screamed, "YAY! Chocolate!" and the other half screamed, "NOOO!"

So, I made a compromise. I didn't want to hurt my husband's feelings, after all ;) I took only one bite, out of all my favorite chocolates (which were all minus 3;). One bite of each is all you really need anyway.
I figure I cut the calories in half.Then I told my husband thank you, and to hide the rest.

What do you do when you receive a high calorie gift?

What's your favorite chocolate truffle?
Mine is chocolate buttercream. Mmm :)

I'd love to hear your, "A marriage is" quote!

A new promise to my blog

I'm just going to say it: My blog has been straight up LAME over the past couple months (not as lame as my family blog, but still pretty lame;). I'm glad I got that off my chest.

I just kinda lost that bloggin' feelin' for a little while there, and I got a little lazy in the blog department (and the cleaning and cooking department;). I can't tell you how many blog posts I had written out in my head... I just lacked the motivation to sit down, and actually type it all out.

Over the past week, I've been thinking about how much this blog means to me. I honestly don't think I could have lost 45 pounds, without all of the support, and encouragement from complete strangers, who voluntarily go on this weight loss roller coaster ride with me. It really amazes me, and I'm so grateful for the readers of this little blog of mine. So, I'm making a new promise to rededicate myself to bloggin'.

I have 40 pounds that I have yet to lose, and I want this blog, and my readers to be apart of every step. I can't wait to write up my victory post, when I've reached my goal weight. Man that's going to be a good post... and my new promise is to make all the posts in-between, incredibly awesome, and non-lame... Well, at least I'll try ;)

Since I'm starting to think I do better on a schedule,
my new bloggin' days are Mondays and Thursdays. I Hope you're here, reading along :)

Love,
:Deliciously Healthy

I heart you, and my decision.

First up, THANK YOU!
Thank you for all your comments and emails. Your advice and opinions helped me to see things more clearly... both ways I'll admit, but it still helped :) It also helps to know that I am not in this alone. There are lots of women with the same battle going on in their head.

Your comments helped me to see that I'm not obese. I've lost 45 pounds, and that is something to be proud of. if I get pregnant tomorrow, it's not the end of the world, as far as my weight goes. At least I won't be getting pregnant at 206 pounds, and that in itself is an accomplishment. You reminded me that I can have a healthy pregnancy, and I don't have to gain 40 pounds, which would definitely help. And like you said, I will never regret having a baby, but I might regret waiting. I hate that my weight has gotten in the way of us being parents. I just want to stop obsessing about my weight, and get on with living our dreams together.

On the other hand, you helped me to see that I am only 23 years old (almost 24). Even if I put it off for a year, I would still be about 25 when I (hopefully) become pregnant. That's pretty young. But I don't feel young. I feel like I'm trapped inside of an 80 year old body, due to my health issues. I've also been married for almost 6 years. We are ready to have a baby. It's all my husband talks about. I hate the fact that he would have to wait even longer to be a daddy, because I couldn't find a way to put down the cheesecake. But hey, I'm sure he would be entertained during the wait, as he watched me shrink back down to the 120 pound girl he married. My weight is a battle I have not officially won, and it's annoying. I just want to get to my goal weight, and finally win this battle. I want to have a healthy pregnancy, and actually look cute while pregnant.

It's still a hard decision, and I still want both. Go figure.

But I think I've come to a compromise:

My fertility doctor said we would try clomid for 3 cycles (3 months), and then move onto more drastic (and expensive) procedures. July will be the 3rd cycle. I've decided that I want to finish what I've started with the clomid. I've already taken the clomid to have a cycle this month. So if it doesn't work this month, I would only take it one more time, for the month of July. If I'm not pregnant by the time I finish the clomid, then we will take 3 months off trying to get pregnant. This will give us time to both save money for the more expensive procedures that we would start in November, and also give me 3 months to lose 20-30 pounds. Because I will be kicking some serious weight loss butt during that time. I'm going to keep with my diet while finishing up the clomid. I haven't weighed myself, but last I checked I was 165, so I'm assuming I'm 160. If I didn't get pregnant with the clomid by the end of July, then I would be hopefully starting the month of August at 155 pounds. I'm hoping that between August and November I can get down to 125-135 pounds.

I would be happy with either outcome. If I get pregnant between now and July, then at least I'm not getting pregnant at 206 pounds. I've always been so worried that I would never be able to get pregnant, that I'm sure seeing a positive pregnancy test will wash away all my concerns about getting pregnant at the weight that I am. And if we don't, then I have three months to get down to a healthier weight, which could even help us have better luck getting pregnant in November.

I feel at peace with our decision. I will be a mother, and get to my goal weight. I can't snap my fingers and have them both at the same time, but I know that I will have them both, eventually. I just know it.

The battle

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted.
I honestly have no idea what the heck happened to the time. At one point, I thought it had been a week since I last posted, but when I looked at my blog, I realized it had been two! Then I spent this past week with writers block. And here I still sit with it. So I'm going to push through it, and just type.

Do you know what goes through my mind as soon as my eyes open in the morning? My diet. My weight. Fertility, and trying to get pregnant while also trying to lose weight. It's also what's going through my mind as I fall asleep at night. Come to think of it, I'm constantly thinking about it. I am so sick of it! I'm tired of thinking about it.

I hate that it's easy one day, and seemingly impossible the next day. I hate that I couldn't have just stayed skinny after I got married. I hate my stretch marks, and what I've done to my body. I hate that it's been 1 1/2 years, and I've only lost 45 pounds in that time. I hate that I waisted half of that 1 1/2 years not being fully committed. I could have made it to my goal weight during that time, if I had really given it all I had, 100% of the time; and I hate that. I hate trying to lose weight, while trying to get pregnant. One half of me wants to roll my sleeves up, and kick some serious weight loss butt. I want to give it all I've got, and lose my last 40 pounds in 6 months. That half of me is secretly hoping I don't get pregnant that month, so I can lose more weight. The other half of me wants to get pregnant. This month. I want to be a mother, and I'm tired of waiting. The two halves totally contradict each other, and sabotage one another. When I'm thinking about my weight loss, the thought actually crosses my mind to put trying to get pregnant aside for 6 months, so I can lose the rest of my weight. But when I'm favoring the baby side, all I can think about is how excited I am to be a mother, and I absolutely hate myself for ever thinking about putting getting pregnant on hold. I hate this fertility/weight loss battle that is constantly going on in my head.

So that's what's going on with me. I'm trying to figure out which I want more: Getting to my goal weight, or getting pregnant. I want them both...

A :Deliciously Healthy date night.

This past weekend, Joe and I went on a dinner/movie date, to see Thor. Who knew Thor was such a hunk?
That's some 6' 3" muscly goodness right there.
Any way. back to what I was saying....

First, we went to one of our favorite restaurants, Jim-N-Nicks.
I usually sneak in a Dr. Pepper, and a couple cheesy muffins while we're there. They are free after all... But this time I ordered a water with lemon, and told my husband to slap my hand if it started creeping over to the bread basket. Luckily, he didn't have to. That might have been embarrassing.

After our movie, we took a little stroll around the outdoor mall.
And that meant we had to pass the Cold Stone.
You can smell the sugar coming out of that place... and I love it! But that's bad. Very, very bad. I shouldn't love it. I should stay away from it. Far, far away. And that's exactly what I did. I even passed up this Cold Stone sign, that made me drool. You can probably see me drooling in the reflection.

Just a few steps past the cold stone, we saw Menchie's, a frozen yogurt restaurant.:
We had never been there, so we thought we'd be adventurous and check it out. Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a self serve frozen yogurt joint, where you can choose you're own yogurt, and your own toppings! I took a couple walk throughs to soak in all the flavors and toppings, before I made my decision. Then I tried to make the best decision possible. I wanted to get chocolate frozen yogurt, with brownies, nuts, marshmallow topping with fudge and caramel.
But instead, I resisted the temptation, and got this:
Chocolate and vanilla swirl, mini dark chocolate chips, coconut, strawberries, and low-fat sugar free fudge. Plus, I exercised moderation on everything. It ended up being just the right amount.

Delish!
Way better then Cold Stone, if you ask me. And a lot nicer on your girlish figure ;)

You should check to see if they have one near YOU. And if they do, you should go. Right now.
And if they don't, just be patient. They are coming soon, to 22 new states!

I heart date nights. Especially when they're :Deliciously HealthyWhat's your date night temptation?
What's your idea of a healthy date night?
Have you ever been to Menchie's?

The truth about "healthy" fast food options

I self admittedly go to a fast food restaurant about two times a week.
Sometimes you just need, well, fast food.

Luckily for me, most fast food chains had "healthy" options available. Or so I thought...
Today I took a deeper look.
Brace yourself...

I usually go to Chick-Fil-A to get either a chargrilled chicken sandwich, or a Cesar wrap:
Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich:
Calories: 290. Not shabby at all. That's why I got it. But there's more...
Total fat: 4g
Sodium: 1030. That's the kicker.

Cesar Wrap:
Calories: 460
Total fat: 15
Saturated fat: 6
Sodium: 1510. YIKES!

Healthy choice --> I'd say skip those two, and go for one of Chick-Fil-A salads:

Chargrilled fruit salad:
Calories: 290
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 4
Sodium: 640

Chargrilled chicken garden salad:
Calories: 180
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 4
Sodium: 650

One of the saddest things I found out about Chick-Fil-A?
The stats on their yummy fruit parfait:

Fruit Parfait with granola:
Calories: 290
Total fat: 6
Saturated fat: 2
Sugar: 39!! I'm like, whoa.

Next up, I checked out some of McDonald's info:I've been hearing a lot about their new oatmeal... I've also heard it has a ton of sugar in it. So I investigated:

Fruit and maple oatmeal:
Calories: 290
Carbohydrates: 57
Total fat: 4.5
Sugar: 32! Remember that a snickers bar has 28 grams of sugar. Insane.

In complete shock, I looked up my next favorite fast-food joint, Wendy's:
My favorite salad, the apple pecan salad:
Calories: 580
Total fat: 27
Saturated fat: 9
Sugar: (brace yourself) 39! For a salad. I triple checked.

Baja Salad:
Calories: 740
Total fat: 47. Straight up crazy.
Saturated fat: 17.

And here I thought I was doing a good thing by getting a salad.
A big-mac's stats are better then that salad!:
Big-Mac:
Calories: 540
Total fat: 29

Salad? Or Big-Mac? I think I'll go with the big-mac.

Healthy choice --> Next time you're at Wendy's, skip the salads, and opt for one of the following:

Baked potato with sour cream and chives:
Calories: 320
Total fat: 4
saturated fat: 2

Chili:
Calories: 220
Total fat: 7
saturated fat: 3
Protein: 18 :)

I thought I was doing good by getting things that seemed healthier then what I really wanted to get (#1 with extra cheese), but now I see how far off I really was. It's all a gimmick if you ask me.

With all that sodium, fat, and sugar, no wonder why the scale wasn't moving!

When I was finally able to pick my jaw up off the floor, I came to this conclusion:
It's honestly best to stay away from fast food all together. Even the "low calorie" items are packed with things that can hinder your weight loss efforts. Pack healthy snacks in your purse instead, to help you stay away from that tempting drive-thru.