Friday

I am beginning to think about birthday party planning for my girl. 

Her sixth birthday is in late April, leaving about three months to be ready.  I am really looking forward to it, as her father and I plan to do something as a team this time.  The past couple of years he has sort of managed the party (and paid for it) or we haven't really done anything special for her.

This year I have personally chosen the place and have a couple of themes in mind.  I even began a special Pinterest board for the occasion.  It is great fun to pick and choose ideas and I am really excited about it already.

I continue to look for work as I watch my bank account slowly decline.  I wake up in the middle of the night, too wide awake, panicked about money.  I don't know how this happened.. actually I do, but it doesn't matter.  I need to quickly find a way to support myself.  Not only do I need to pay rent and feed myself but Violet's birthday requires a lot money and I want to really step-up this year to make it great.  I would literally spend my very last dime to make her happy on her special day.

I do not live beyond my means.  I don't drive a newer car, I don't have things that do not fit my budget.  My apartment should be affordable.  My desires are not many.  Really, I just have to find a little more money to make it all work.

My Mom brought Violet and I shopping yesterday to outfit her in some cold-weather clothes.  I am so very lucky that I have her (and my Dad+StepMum) to help me with these important things!  This week's cold temperatures have been dramatic.  The CRAZY below-zero wind chills had me worried that Violet would be too cold at school.  But my Mom totally hooked us up!

I haven't really done anything in regard to my diet or exercise plan as of today.  I haven't put myself in the necessary mindset yet.  But it's coming.  It is on the horizon. 

As I mentioned recently, one of things that has changed in my life recently - (for the better) - is my extra time with Miss Violet.  I see her so much now it is incredible.  I retrieve her from school sometimes 3x per week which is so so so sooooooooooo awesome!  I feel truly blessed to have this much time with her, my heart is bursting with happiness.
Not to say we don't have our little "things".  She is a rowdy one.  She is moody, emotional, demanding.  She is a little boss.  Her vocabulary is picking up, not only the good part, the bad part she learns from classmates.  We squabble.  We both have "time-outs".  We have good moments and bad.  I want to feed us better.  I bought her a toy yesterday even though I can't afford it.  I let her sleep in my bed last night.  I knew how much I would miss her today.

I get pretty caught-up in worry sometimes, worrying that she won't want to be with me if I am not fun or if I don't let her have her way enough.  I worry that I am not a better Mom.  Worry is heavy. 
I am trying my best and when it happens that I can't worry anymore for another second, that is what I remind myself.

She has been talking about her classmate Noa a lot lately.  Her very best friend at school.  Noa recently wrote her a note (it is super cute and I should share it here soon) and gave her a blue friendship rock.  Violet in turn, gave Noa a blue jewel she won at an arcade last week.

They are just too cute.

Her friendships make me so happy.




Violet and Noa at Noa's birthday party back in October '12.

Violet and her friend Kayley recently (a non school friend).