Monday

She took a deep breath, declared her heart free

and thanked herself for being so patient with it.

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Maybe it is the weather, the season's changing -- but I definitely have been feeling the need to be free lately.  Free as in, free to be a little wild, a little less stressed and a lot more happy.  I want to get to the bottom of so many of my issues, needs and wants.  I want to keep changing for the better.

An Update:

1. Diet and exercise haven't gone well the past couple of weeks.  When I get stressed or down, I tend to start this bad food - sleeping pill - caffeine cycle.  It takes a little while of feeling like poo, then I snap out of it and get back on track.

2. I have been adding kale and spinach to my beloved morning smoothies lately and let me say, it makes them so much less appetizing.  I love my greens just as much as the next nut but they have ruined my fruit/almond butter favorite.  I may have to take them out of the rotation and bring the yum back.  I've felt so blah in the kitch' lately, not making anything new or interesting.  This kale/spinach thing is not helping.

3. Speaking of smoothies, my blender has been acting up lately.  I went to make a drink a few days ago and threw an ice cube in to keep things cold.  My blender froze-up and whirred like it was stuck, way overexerting the motor.  Now it leaks.  I certainly do not have the $$ to replace it.  Here's hoping it won't break on me yet. 

4. I find myself in some tough financial straits right now.  I have a sweet job in a beautiful place but I definitely wish I made more money.  Worrying about how to pay for gas and tolls and rent and everything else is such a stress, I worry constantly (hence diet and sleep woes).

5. Violet is great though.  She has been having more good than bad preschool mornings, meaning she doesn't always give me a hard time.  I still miss her so bad I could scream and I wish to God I could still be with her like I used to.  But knowing she doesn't hate school as much anymore is helpful because I do need to make a living away from her.  She is learning and maturing in so many ways.  She is getting ready to read.  She also seems to be maturing emotionally too, I have noticed quite a change in her.  I am ever so proud of my girl.