Work

We all remember Ed Norton's nameless every man character in Fight Club... how he peddled through his days in a sleep-deprived fog.  How his sleeplessness lead to the split in his mind and the breakdown in his life.

I have been working two jobs and although I am less than a week into my new sixty hour work schedule, I am feeling very much like a zombie.

My full time job becomes half time at the end of the month so I scrambled to find a part time gig that would not interfere with the original job.  I thought it would be a smart idea to work both for a while and make some extra money (for savings, Violet's Christmas, yoga dough or heating expenses this winter).  I even thought that it could be possible to leave the day job and just keep the night'er so that I could bring+retrieve Violet from school every day or place her in half-day kindergarten.

But working two jobs is NOT COOL.  There is no opportunity for eight hours of sleep, making my own meals or spending quality time with Violet.  I was a mess to begin with, let's be honest.  I don't know how I will keep myself straight.

I am not about to start a fight club for ladies but damn, I hope I don't lose my shit. 

Sleep deprivation is serious. 

Last night when I was at work (when the rest of the world had been asleep for three hours already), I actually had this experience where my coworker was talking and I saw her mouth moving, but I was unable to register her words.  It was kind of surreal.  Then later, I was explaining something to a student and I stopped dead in my schpeel because I seriously forgot what I was even saying.  It was GONE.  My brain had literally stopped itself mid-thought and rebooted.

I used to be a serial napper.  I loved napping more than I can say.  When I am bored or lonely or sad or just for the heck of it, I sleep.  It is my pasttime.  My hobby if you will.  How will I manage without my precious zzzzz's?

Lord help me.