Wednesday

Violet has been sick for three days.

She has been sick before of course but this time, I was pretty scared.  On my way to the doctor's office, I felt my first pang of real "what if" panic, like what if my girl is seriously sick.  Like not curable sick.  I've had thoughts like this before as any parent does but to really experience the possibility of a child being very ill is absolutely frightening.

Thankfully she is completely okay.  Her fever (after three full days of off/on fevers) spiked to over 103 degrees.  After various testing they concluded that she is stricken with a virus (a flu?) and will be okay within a few days.

This illness marked the first time that I was almost incapable of caring for her myself.  I had to work both of my jobs and could not afford to take the time.  When I did see her - for my designated hour in the morning - I was tired and unable to give her the nurturing I wished I could.  This makes me so sad I cannot explain.  When all is said and done and I look back at our life together, I want to be able to say I was there for her.  And I do not feel like I was there for her during this important time.

Thankfully though, her Daddy (and my Dad too!!) picked up the slack and really nursed her very well.