Monday

The other night my late grandmother guest starred in my dreams.  It doesn't happen often but when it does, it makes me feel so happy.  As if she is paying me a special visit from beyond.  I hang on to the memory and the feeling of it for days after.

I want to hold on to these little bursts of her when they happen.  I think about how I miss her dearly.  How I am still so lucky to have had her in my life.  How I don't know if I will ever feel such warmth from another person ever again.  And how that fact is kind of a tragedy and gift all in itself.

I meant to finally take inventory and organize her personal items that I received shortly after her passing.  They have been inside a closet, in a bag, stuffed there for years, untouched.  I haven't been able to look at them yet.  The pain of her loss has remained right there all of this time.  I think I am almost ready to do this task though as I think it might help me feel close to her again.

The lady herself and Miss Violet, 2008.